Candles, photos and a BBQ at Sis's!

Today started off as a great day ... I got a ton done at work and that always makes me feel good! I pity my poor courier come Monday morning - 42 steps (2nd floor) isn't so bad the first time you do it ... or on the way down ... but the second, third (etc!) time it's a back breaker especially with heavy boxes or sacks of wax!!

It turned into a great evening too as we went over to see my sis and her hub in their new place for a bbq and it was such a nice evening! Good food, a nice atmosphere and a pretty garden! Our mum and her hub's mum had been working hard in their garden planting and repotting - it looked fabulous!!

I'd arranged in advance to take a few photos while I was over there as inspiration for a main shot for my website ... so I took some candles with me. I didn't get exactly the shots I was after, but these are a couple of my best ...

I'm working hard on bringing the website up to scratch ... i.e. really emphasizing the lifestyle factor of what I do, and the best way to do that is through photography. These are just a couple of my best shots that I took at my sister's place this evening.... I wish I'd had more time and more "stuff" with me!!

I have had another brilliant idea though! My sister is a fantastic photographer. She and her hub both are ... and I'm going to ask her if she'll spend some time taking photos of my candles around her house!! Sis has some very "quirky" stuff in her house and really good taste - and they are both very inspired by angular / eccentric / unusual photography of very normal every day things... which is exactly what I am looking for!

It's weird because I'm not even jealous that my sister can do a better job at this than I can - and it almost surprises me that I am NOT jealous! I take really good photographs of things that inspire ME ... and that pretty much comes down to photos of my children! Sis and her hub take amazing photos of "stuff"!!

I think between the two of them, they will come up with some great pics for me! Besides, if I make a list of everything I give them for the photography, I can mark it off as deductible too, so it's worth it tax wise - and she / they will probably get FAR better shots than I ever could anyway!

I really enjoyed spending time with them this evening. They are such a great couple and I'm so glad Sis and I are closer.

Friday Five - 30th May 2008

This week's Friday five is about forgetfulness. Isn't that Dee-ness?

What piece of information do you keep forgetting? Well surely if I knew that I would have no reason to forget it!! Actually it's probably hub's birthdate ... I know it's either the 6th or the 7th ... and the year is either one or another - but I never know for sure! I am usually good at remembering crap like that, but for one reason his birthday is one I regularly can't recall!

What regular event in your life do you keep forgetting? I keep promising myself that I will do the midnight walk in London for Breast Cancer (wearing a sparkly bra) but I never remember until after the sign up has passed! Maybe next year ..

How are you with remembering the names of people you meet? Actually I'm pretty good with names. With what I do for a living, I HAVE to be aware of customer's names because often they will call, saying "hi it's so and so..." and I need to immediately recall who they are and what they have ordered! It's faces I'm not so good at!

What kinds of tricks to you have for remembering to do stuff that falls outside your regular routine? Ahhh I use mnemonics ... a LOT! Mnemonics are like little verbal cues to remind yourself of things ... like how to spell "necessary" - I remember an English lesson when I was about 14 and being taught "never eat cheese, eat salmon sandwiches" and since then, I could always spell necessary! I try to give myself a "something" to associate with what I need to remember.

If you keep a daily planner, what is it like? If you don’t, why not? I have ALWAY kept a diary!! Actually I technically have three diaries! I have my actual calendar diary where I plan my day to day stuff and that looks like this ....

It was originally a boring black diary .. then it got "Dee'd!" In here is everything that I need to remember that I have to do on a particular day! Any appointments the kids have, lists of my parties & events for work etc. I also have my daily blog here on blogger, plus a very VERY private and exceptionally well hidden journal for my most secretest thoughts. C'mon ... you didn't really think I told you everything did you?

Dee took a day off! Wow and mega double wow!!!!

It's a little after midnight so technically Saturday, but heck it's Friday night until I go to bed! LOL

I took the day off today. It was the last day of half term for the children and I knew that even if I went into the workshop and poured my backside off that nothing would be finished to dispatch today ... and being Friday, even if it WAS dispatched today it would just sit in the courier warehouse all weekend! Much better for me to de-stress today and go in all weekend to catch up and dispatch everything Monday for delivery on Tuesday!

I didn't have a complete day off tho (well it IS me!) I helped Nathan clean his room up, did some housework, repotted my tomato plants and worked on the business website redesign.

The current version of the website just isn't working for me. It needs to be slicker and more up to date, so I've been working on designing a basic template for the index page that I can use for the rest of the website. It's looking good so far!

Went into work this evening and saw a friend for a bit - a nice way to finish off the day!

Pause for breath!!

Whew what a busy day! LOL it's been non stop! I was up with the birds (okay 7am) to be at work really early as the fire alarm system was being tested and they needed access to all units ... and as soon as they'd been in and tested my alarms, I locked up and hauled my butt over to the gym! I did a quick workout and then headed back to work!

I got quite a few orders poured today - although I won't be able to dispatch anything until Monday (kids off for one more day tomorrow!!) ... but it means that by the time Monday morning rolls around I should be hopefully up to date on all orders as I plan on being in there all weekend. Whew!!

I've had an evening OFF from the paperwork and number crunching tonight ... by the time I got home from work I was knackered and I knew my head wasn't up to concentrating ... so I've been working on a website redesign instead :-) it's still technically work, but it's fun stuff!!

Tomorrow I still have the kids off school so I'll take them up the park if it's nice ... and then crack on with the numbers! Plan is to have completed the entire year end up to 31st March 2005 by the end of the afternoon tomorrow so I can get started on working through the credit card statements.

Tomorrow evening I am going to have to get into work for a few hours to do prep for the weekend and aside from working my butt off all weekend, that's the sum total of my plans!

Me & my lil sis

I have just spoken to my sis on the phone and decided that it was time to dedicate a blog post to her!

This is us with our mum taken in New York last year (May 07) a few days before Sis's wedding. I'm on the left, Mum in the middle and Sis on the right.

Sis and I have had a weird relationship over the last few years (until recently), and I guess weird is probably the best way to describe it! She and I are VERY unalike as people (despite the physical resemblance!) and I'm not exactly sure when we stopped being close ... but somehow we did. We had a couple of years of really just losing touch with each other as people and our relationship as sisters suffered naturally as a result.

The thing is ... out of almost nowhere really it has ended up all coming so naturally (our relationship I mean), and all uncoincidentally timed with her move back to the area instead of being over an hour away which means that I can see more of her and she's closer literally as well as emotionally!!

She moved just a couple of weeks ago, but I would say for at least the last couple of months we have got on SO well! We are closer than ever before and it has been so natural! Instead of worrying about what we'd talk about on the phone, I call her just for a chat when I've got nothing major going on just to find out what she's been up to over the last few days (because I AM really interested in her life!) ... and she rang me while I was at the show the other day to let me know she'd been out and about and drummed up some interest from a couple of shops that are now interested in stocking my candles!! I was so utterly surprised that she did that for me out of nowhere ... but it wasn't really out of nowhere ... it's just the natural relationship that we have now!!

It's been so terrific to have a new "friend" as well. I'm really not sure what switched our relationship back on again, but it's been terrific. I love it and just know that going forward, Sis and I have a whole new friendship to explore!

I can also finally reveal to the general public that we also have a new "thing" together!! Sis discovered she has a very natural talent for scrapbooking! A few weeks ago, I put aside the entire weekend to spend with Sis working on a gift for her husband as a first anniversary present. We pretty much did a whole entire scrapbook over those two days ... and this is what Sis did all by herself ...

Know what? It was most definitely the best page in the whole album!! I may have created a monster!!

Ugh, I should really get back to my paperwork!

I just wanted to say ... Sis, if you are reading this then I love you to bits and I am so glad that we are back on track. In just the last few months, I truly feel we are closer to than ever before and I'm glad you are back in my life properly :-)

Ack okay soppiness over ... back to the paperwork!

Anyone got a huge band-aid?

Cus I'm going to need one to plug up the holes I have been discovering in my business ... and some of these holes are YEARS old - yet I hadn't realised them at the time.

I am NEVER going to fall behind on my paperwork again! OMG the things I have learned have been incredible ... and that, I guess is the saving grace! At least having to go through this has really focussed my mind on exactly what I need to do for going forward and I am damned well going to do it. I was so engrossed in the paperwork today that when I realised I was missing a bank statement, I bundled the kids into the car (without their socks and shoes - I was in a hurry!!) and drove down to the branch to get a printed copy so I didn't have to stop work!!

I've spoken to a few accountants via email today and the plan is that once I've got my lil ducks in a row, to email the spreadsheets to a "proper" accountant for them to check over my numbers and submit the tax returns for me.

So today has been a day spent at home with the kids on half term doing housework and paperwork! I was going to take them to the park for some quality time and fresh air but it has been hammering down with rain all day... so we all spent the day cooped up in the house! I did manage to get all the laundry washed and through the tumble dryer too ... damn I can be such a housewife! LOL

Deep Breath (a quick one!!)

I can't stop to breathe properly just yet though! A few deep breaths and then get my head back down is about all I can manage!

The kids are on half term and it's just not practical to take them into the workshop with me, so I spent a good part of the day engrossed in my paperwork and getting some of my figures inputted into excel spreadsheets as that's all stuff I can do from home. I only got two and a half months worth of data entered, but I felt good about it as I had still technically been "working" during the day today even though I wasn't pouring wax.

It's crazy that I feel I somehow have to justify it to myself when I don't go into the workshop during the day. I am the only one that I have to answer to, and I'm definitely my own worst critic! I went into work for a couple of hours this evening to pack up orders and that made it okay ... but meanwhile I'm going to be a few days behind on orders after half term is finished... and that means that I have stress and anxiety incoming ... oh joy!

I have SO much to do and SO few hours to get it all done in, but the weird thing is that since I actually started tackling this all head on and making real roads with the paperwork and accounts, I've not had a single panic attack or any "stress bubbles" (like nervous butterflies in my stomach). There is seriously a phenomenal amount still to do ... but I know I can do it! Even what I did today on my spreadsheet still has things missing that I need to go back and add in (like my merchant account processing charges, cash receipts and a breakdown of my business credit card statements etc) but it's going well!

Once I have got all of my ducks in order, everything will be working perfectly and my new systems are running beautifully ... it will be worth the agony in the long run!

It's been a good day in all though - with my achievements for the day plus other reasons that I can't mention here... I have a smile on my face! It's always good to smile and I haven't done it often enough recently!

Ooooooooooops sorry!

Well damnit I've been busy!!

After a few days of paperwork filing I had to totally concentrate on stock for the show.... which meant this weekend was totally out as far as blogging goes!

So the show? Well, it wasn't exactly brilliant the first day (yesterday) but today (bank holiday monday) I did a bit better and ended up overall only £50 down on my target for the weekend, so not so bad in the end!! I did take a few pics, it's just late and I can't be bothered to download them - so sue me LOL! (ok that was a joke incase anyone was wondering!!)

Megan was terrific this weekend at the show - a true dynamic selling force! I swear most of the sales were probably down to her and the "balls" that she has when she interacts with customers!

Anyway, it's late ... I'm okay ... and knackered!!!

236 votives later ....

Yeah that has been the sum total of my Friday night!

Damn I live an exciting night huh!! I have a two day show Sunday & bank holiday Monday, and as I have spent most of this week working on accounts, paperwork, and current orders, I had to spend the day pouring stock today! I take mainly votives when I do shows, so it involves wicking, bagging and labelling literally hundreds of votives in preparation. When I have a whole pile of stock to package, I bring it home and attack it with a glass or four of wine! I didn't do brilliantly at the last show, so there hasn't been a huge amount to do ... but I have wick'd, bagged and labelled 236 votives tonight!!

I've had a really good day today! I haven't done a huge amount done with the paperwork & accounts, but I did get QuickBooks up to date as far as 1st May this year (from 1st April) so that only leaves me the last few weeks to input into the computer. I feel REALLY positive about the progress I have made towards the accounting ... it's only been a week since I started making inroads into sorting the backlog out, and in that time I've done sooo much! I know I could have done more - but I'm not going to kick myself about it. I'm setting myself targets and missions to achieve each day, and as long as I do that - I am happy!

It's been a crazy week ... and it isn't over yet!!

I want to marry my dentist and have his babies!!

Well c'mon girls, wouldn't you want to go to the dentist more often if yours looked more like mine?! Somehow it makes the unbearable so much more bearable when you have something pretty to look at and ohhh he's definitely good to look at!

This fine specimin of dentistry is otherwise known as Paul Winkley from The Strand Dental in Worthing. The photo is cribbed from their website - I'm not like stalking my dentist or anything! Hahaha Anyway, when I went for my first consultation it was after years (and I mean about 16 years) of not going to the dentist and being incredibly lucky with my teeth.

I'd had a bad experience when I was younger and been petrified of dentists ever since ... but as soon as I walked into the building I just felt at ease. It's private and not NHS, but I tell you --- you get every penny's worth out of it. This place is purpose built - ie not some crappy converted house with 1940s carpets that smells of old people and dental mouthwash! I must have phoned like eleventy hundred dentists, explaining what a nervous patient I was ... and saying I'd call back .... until I spoke to The Strand! They just put me at ease over the phone, and it cemented it when I walked into the building!

My very first consultation with Paul was a couple of years ago and I was in so much pain. It was excruciating! I needed root canal work AND an extraction, so fairly major work... but Paul promised me that I wouldn't feel *any* pain ... and as I was particularly nervous (it was like a white knuckle ride except I LOVE rollercoasters!) he even gave me an extra boost of pain killer!

Know what? I didn't feel a thing and even the initial mild discomfort I felt while sitting in the dentist chair was NOTHING compared to the feeling of being totally pain free when I left there!!

I would have gone to the dentist a lot sooner with this recent pain if I hadn't seriously believed it was related to my periods because the last couple I've had ... I've had toothache at the same time but it's been controllable with pain killers! It has been getting worse over this week to the point that the over the counter pain relief wasn't even touching the sides ... so today I got me a dentist appointment!!

An x-ray, extraction (and £92) later I am 100% pain free. I can even swallow REALLY cold drinks now without wincing!!

God damnit I'm going to sleep well tonight!!!

Nathan's quad bike ride!!

My mum organised a fantastic treat for Nathan as part of his birthday! She arranged for him to spend some time at the beach patrol office in Worthing. He got to look around the lifeboat - they let him sit in the driving seat and start up the engine ... he had a brilliant time!! I dosed myself up on painkillers for the toothache and smiled all the way through it for Nathan!

Ohhh and of course not forgetting the quad bike that the guys use to patrol the beach that he got to ride on!! OMG did he love this or what!!!

The guys from the office were really fantastic and showed him a great time! He said his favourite part was going for a ride on the quad bike around the beach!

Loved this shot of him talking in the mic to the guys out on the boat!

A great afternoon and a very happy little boy! This is the team that looked after him ... and of course his sister in the shot as well :-)

Birthday cake :-)

Yeah okay I know - I'm a terrible person! It's taken me two days to get photos online from Nathan's birthday! Bad bad Dee!

Yummy delicious chocolate cake ... mmmmm

It was a bit of a mis-match of cake candles but I found eight, and I don't think it really mattered!!

Grrrrrrrrr LOL

I woke up with astronomical toothache around 5am and it took a while for the painkillers to kick in, so by the time my alarm went off I really hadn't had enough sleep and woke up feeling groggy this morning. I swear toothache is WORSE than childbirth! At least with childbirth it's pain with a purpose and it may hurt like hell, but at least you know it's going to end!

This toothache is killing me. I'd originally thought that it was related to my period because it seemed to hit when I was on ... but even that has been hard to track recently. I didn't have a period for a few months after Christmas, then I had a nasty heavy one ... then I've had two in the last 5 weeks ... this last one has really dragged on too, but it seems to have finished today and I still have the toothache. If I could afford the dentist - I'd go ... meanwhile I'll just keep relying on painkillers!

I still went into work this mornig ready to crack on despite feeling like crap because my newfound motivation won't let a lil thing like toothache get in the way! I seriously felt like curling up on the sofa in my "staff room" and just going to sleep, but instead I got some orders poured, made some hurricanes for stock and paperwork wise, I have got my most outstanding year now filed into date order in my filing cabinet!!! Yeah, I rock!!

In true "Dee style" I've got pretty coloured dividers separating the months out so it's organised AND pretty LOL and I bought a pink notepad to staple my current cash receipts into! LOL Tomorrow's plan is to start on the rest of the filing and I've set myself a target of this weekend to have it ALL filed in monthly order! By next week I need to be going through my old bank statements (which I have also found and filed!!!) to add up all of the incomings and outgoings year by year. Once I reach that point, I'll be able to make an appointment with my local tax office and they will help me to fill in the returns once I have the numbers. This totally negates the need to pay an accountant and saves money -- something I love to do!!! Okay so I won't have a full accounts listing for those outstanding years, but I'll know the numbers and I'll be able to work out exactly what I owe the tax man and I'll have the paperwork to back it all up.

Plus ... with L's help I have been working out exactly what my current costs are ... ie the essential things that I need to pay to keep the business afloat and I have a much better idea of what actually constitutes a good and bad week now!!

The thing that has frustrated me today is that all of the data entry I did last night into QuickBooks has all been for nothing because I realised this afternoon that it was all screwy!! I realised this when I was invoicing a customer and recording it as paid, then marking the actual payment into my bank register ... I figured it was registering the payment twice as far as income goes and thereby giving a false profit reading! This is not good!! It's what you get for a free download version huh!

I do actually own a full working copy of QuickBooks with the key code and registration code .... mine is the 2001 version and I rang QuickBooks customer service hoping to get a download site so that I could re-install it without the CD, but unfortunately my version is so old now that they no longer support it! The woman I spoke to was really helpful and said that as I was an existing customer I can get the current 2008 pro version for a discounted price AND I could pay monthly via direct debit. I snapped it up! It also includes an upgrade to the 2009 version when that's ready. CDs are on the way and that will then be my way of getting the current financial year (from April 1st onwards) absolutely 100% up to date!

I haven't had a single anxiety attack or felt the real "rush" of stress and panic since I started going through the paperwork last Thursday. Funny that eh. The crazy thing is that I've know all along that THIS has been one of the root causes of my stress, yet it's been the thing that I have avoided doing for so frigging long now. I'm still very worried about it all because the more I get involved with the numbers, the more I worry I can't afford to make it ... but that just makes me MORE determined to sort it all out!!

Nathan's Birthday :-)

Well he made it to 8 years old!! I do have some pics, but I've had such a hectic day (more about that later) that I haven't had a chance to download anything yet!

Nathan had a fabulous day - pressies in the morning and he got a new Nintendo DS (his third one due to breaking them GRRRR!) with a new game from his dad and me ... some Ben 10 toys from his Aunt & Uncle, a cheque from his Gran and a football & England watch from his Nan.

In the past we have always gone waaaaaay overboard with presents, but this year I'd purposely said to hub that I didn't want to be spending a fortune on extra little bits and pieces because a) we can't afford to, and b) we are spending £100 between us on a new DS AND a new game!!

To be honest, Nathan loved what he got, he's a happy boy, and I don't think he missed out AT ALL with "quantity" because he does understand the value of what he got too.

Apparently he had an "awesome" day at school too! Always good to hear!

This evening we all went out for a family meal at the restaurant around the corner (The Sussex Potter) at Nathan's choice! Ate waaaay too much, had fabulous desserts, made a complete mess and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!

Where's Dee up to with the paperwork I hear you asking?

Well, so kind of you to ask! LOL Okay so my mission today was to sort through the oldest papedwork and get that in month order... nice big tick on the ole checklist there! Tomorrow the plan is to START 2005 month order filing and get some orders poured. I sent out a fair few boxes today, got paperwork filed AND I have even organised a system to file all of the current and future paperwork too!

Damn I am actually loving sorting all of this out --- I just WISH I had got off of my giant (slowly shrinking thanks to the gym) backside months --- no, years ago! *sigh* I'd be in a MUCH better position today if I was *insert more deep sighing and regret* Ack ok enough with the self butt kicking ... I'm sorting it out NOW and really getting into it!! At work today amidst a massive circle of paperwork (12 months in a year = 12 piles of papers!) .... I stopped and just smiled to myself because I feel like weight is being lifted from me daily ... hahaha no wonder the gym is working for me ... I'm exercising my stress calories away!!

Anyway ... (lol I do ramble huh)

This evening my mission is to input every customer I've had since April 1st 2008 into my newly installed QuickBooks and raise an invoice through the software so that I can see straight away exactly how much I'm making currently. I'm not going to allow myself to go to bed until it's done! I've got 3 more weeks of customers to input from the bank statement up to the current date, then I just have to add the ones from the shopping cart that I haven't been paid for yet .... but I'll forgive myself not doing that bit until tomorrow - well, depending on what time it is when I'm done with this lot anyway!!

A couple of people even commented today that I am sounding happier and looking better! I swear it could be a combination of losing that extra 3lbs outside of my comfort zone, braving up to sorting through the paperwork ... or all manner of outside influences and you wanna know what? I don't care! I feel more positive right now than I've felt in a l-o-n-g time and it feels great! I can face the world and whatever is thrown at me tomorrow because I'm not going to sweat the small stuff anymore (nope gonna file it instead! HAH!) and damnit forget the present --- I'm living for the future from now onwards!!!!

Okay time to come down from my cloud and get my head back into these numbers!!!

Yeah back in my comfort zone!

Well, according to the scales anyway! How mad is that ... I join the gym (went three times this week plus the body pump class) and spend a week watching what I eat ... and 3lb just drops off of me!!

I'm at the top end of my "comfort zone" ... but hey, at least I'm back in there again! My comfort zone has a 3lb barrier, so I want to at least lose that other 3lb as my first target and then do away with my comfort zone altogether!! I tell ya, stress is great for weight loss ... your mind is so pre-occupied with worry that you can't even think about eating, let alone actually eat anything!

My clothes feel looser, I can SEE the difference in the mirror and most of all, I feel it in myself and that is what counts. I've been through so much over the last few months and recently it's felt like I'm finally heading for the turnaround in my luck that I know I deserve!

I'm not taking a sleeping pill tonight ... we'll see how it goes!!

I'm gonna be a paperwork QUEEN!!!

The majority of my crap stuff paperwork has now been sorted into date order, and it has only taken the sum total of a couple of hours a day over the last 3 days. How sad is that? I truly am kicking myself for not doing this sooner - especially considering how quickly I've managed to get through it all since Friday afternoon and how far behind I had allowed myself to get. I could have done this months ... years ago. I will never EVER be in a position where I don't know my numbers (or at least be able to lay my hands on the info right away!) ever again!!

Okay there is still a LONG way to go to get to zero, but the worst part of going through the boxes and organising it into date is done! Next step is to make sure I have all my bank statements dating right back so that I can go through it all and meticulously record every single outgoing and incoming through the bank, and then file all of my cash receipts. Alongside that I've installed new accounts software on my laptop so I am going to find *everything* from 1st April this year so that at least going forward my tax year from 08-09 will be 100% in order!!

I couldn't have done it without L's help! Just having such a close friend in my corner who knows me well enough to say "Dee, you're a great candlemaker and your product truly is terrific, but you are fucking shite with your paperwork!" has been just what I needed to motivate me! LOL there aren't many people who actually have the BALLS to stand up to me, but L is one of them! L has been there for me in a way I hadn't ever seen coming - and I am truly grateful.

I need to prove I can do it ... not to anyone else, but to myself! I am my own worst enemy and I know it! God, I feel so motivated right now and so ready for tomorrow!! Lemme at Monday morning so I can get started on my "to do" list and make some phone calls!

Proud Mama Bear!

God I love these proud mama bear moments! Megan had such a fantastic day today and she really made me proud! She was put forward for a "pupil enrichment course" for musically gifted and able children ... and selected as someone with natural talent to nurture!! She was invited to do a one day workshop called "Sing Out!" which is about singing as a group and using harmony. I was proud of her already, but when we got there today and I saw it was just THIRTEEN of them on this course I was even MORE proud!!

Here's some vids!! Sorry they are sideways and apologies for the crappy quality - this is the first time I've posted vids from my mobile and I couldn't figure the rotation! LOL You'll just have to watch sideways ... it's about the singing anyway!

Aint she gorgeous?! She enjoyed herself SO much - it was so obvious from the way she was grinning inanely on the way home! Damn she can really sing too - she has a gorgeous singing voice ... I had tears in my eyes as soon as they started singing!!!

I got me a tag cloud!!!

Courtesy of instructions from phydeaux3

How utterly cool is this! I love these on other blogs I read regularly, and I finally got around to adding one to my blog. Tag clouds were originally designed for wordpress, but the guy above fixed it for blogger too. You do have to know some basic HTML code, but the instructions are easy peasy!

Tag clouds make random post browsing much more interesting! I can see the thing I tend to blog about most often. It's not surprising that STRESS makes it up there in big bold lettering eh!

And she procrastinates no longer....

I was up, motivated and raring to go this morning! I went to the gym as soon as I’d dropped the kids at school and had a really good workout… I’m finding my routine pleasantly gruelling, i.e. I feel the burn while I am doing it, but I think I will definitely be looking to increase the resistance when my 6 week review comes up! I came home for a quick shower then headed straight into work.

Wait, it gets better! I spent a couple of hours going through things at work, then it began …

** drum roll **

The paperwork has been started!! I had a friend helping me today, and I swear that L was a worse slave driver than I thought I was! L is firmly of the “touch every piece of paper once” - i.e. file it or shred it school of thought, and I have to agree it’s a much better way than my “throw it in a box and worry about it later” method! L is one of the few people in the world who I can really count on for an honest to god bottom line opinion and who also isn't afraid to tell me either! A perfect person to help get me organised!!

We got through SO MUCH in just a couple of hours - it really didn't take THAT long and it wasn't THAT bad at all. I was really kicking myself for putting it off for so long ad not doing it sooner. If I had just spent half an hour a day for a week I’d have achieved the same thing myself and I could have done it months years ago. Okay enough kicking, I'm doing it now and I am NEVER going to let myself get to this point ever again. Besides, even if I didn't want to get straightened out (which I do!!) well, let's just say that I don't think I will be given any choice in the matter! LOL

This box was FULL - and I mean stuffed FULL of crap! This is only one of the boxes that I have with paperwork in, but it was certainly the bulk of it!

And look at it now!! It's less than a quarter full and it's totally organised! All of the paperwork is neatly filed in date order with card separators until it moves into the filing cabinet when we've been through the other boxes. All of the rubbish got shredded and every piece of paper got anally sorted into date order! The result is a much lighter box ... and an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders!! There is still a serious amount to do and I'm not entirely sure that I have every single piece of paper together yet, but damnit it feels so good to have really started it.

The next stage is probably going to be the worst, but it's also going to be the most interesting, because that is the part where I will find out my numbers and THAT is what I need to know to stay in business. I need to log absolutely every single piece of paper, every incoming and outgoing that I have and work it all out to the last penny. I need to know where it's all coming from ... and where it's all going!

It scares the crap out of me, but strangely, I am looking forward to it at the same time! If I have a hope in hell of making this work, then I need to be absolutely on the ball with my paperwork... and it has helped enormously to have had someone else there today to keep me going.

I feel so motivated and ready for it. Bring on tomorrow!!!

Friday Five 16th May 2008 (Old/Young)

Wow I have time to do today's Friday Five before I take the kids to school!

What makes you feel old? Ugh the teenagers these days! I look at them trying desperately to look older, and I remember that it wasn't that long ago that I was one of them ... but I feel REALLY old when I realise that actually, err it was more like over 15 years ago!

What makes you feel young? My kids and the ability to be completely silly with them!! Even out in public I can lark around with them and have a laugh!

What was better the old way? Getting a hand written letter through the post. It had much more sentiment and meant a lot more.

What’s better now that you do it the new way? Although hand written notes have more sentiment, I think technology HAS been a huge improvement in communication. Life is sometimes too busy to spend an hour hand writing a letter ... but it takes 5 minutes to email an old friend you haven't spoken to for a while.

What’s something you are old school about? Family traditions definitely. I was brought up by great parents and I've always said if I can be half the parent that they were ... then I will have done a good job!