If things don't change they stay the same!

I've had a manic couple of days so not much time to blog, but here's a very quick update and rundown!!

Dairy-Free - I'll admit I've "cheated" since I started this 3 weeks ago because there have been times where it's been absolutely impossible to avoid dairy products! There have also been times where I've caved and had a pizza or nachos (smothered in cheese!) but what that has done is shown that I DO tend to be MORE nauseous and throw up on days where I have eaten dairy, and especially cheese .... soooo I do think I have a dairy "intolerance" but it won't stop me from eating it - it's just more of an awareness. Yesterday was a totally dairy free day and I am absolutely fine this morning!

Stress Levels - I can happily report that they are lower! It's probably a combination of everything that I am doing at the moment plus the pills, but whatever it is, it seems to be working. I am also trying very hard to change my way of thinking so that instead of approaching something with a negative attitude, I am slapping myself upside the head and trying to be positive.

Weight - I haven't been "trying" to lose weight and haven't been on any diets (aside from the crappy dairy free thing recently), but it's just been a very welcome side effect from stress and I have lost almost two stone in the last year or so. I actually weigh less now than I have done in a long time, and for the first time in a long time, I can look in the mirror and actually not be completely repelled by what I see. I'm not even sure that it's just down to the weight loss .... I think my self esteem is finally building - slowly but surely! I feel positive and happy with my figure, knowing that I actually really do look good, and that makes me feel better.

If things don't change, they stay the same.

For the fourth day in a row I’ve not been sick so this is a very good thing! I had to take the children into work with me as they are on half term but it was absolutely useless and I was getting nothing done – it was making me more stressed than giving up and just going back later tonight after hub gets home from work.

I also went back to the doctor today. I told her everything that happened with my meltdown as well as some of the stressors in my home life and at work and she really listened. It made a lot of sense with the being sick starting around March time and my stress has been a lot worse since then and the dairy intolerance/sickness/lethargy being brought on by stress.

I also talked to her about the things I am going to try to do to consciously reduce some of the stressors in my life with the eating better, making sure I take more time for myself and delegating more. She said it’s all good stuff.

She also thinks I am not depressed, but that it is more anxiety, low self-esteem and being way too hard on myself when I don’t achieve perfection. Has this doctor got a secret hidden camera somewhere? Talk about bang the nail right on the head! She asked me how I would treat it if I could pick my own treatment and I said probably going back on my happy pills but that I thought I could also benefit from some counseling.

She looked at the prescription for anti-depressants that I was given before and said that they are the best thing for me right now as they are more for anxiety than full blown depression, but she has increased the dose. She also said I don’t have to take them if I don’t want to but she recommends that I do (I will) as they should just help to take the edge off the anxiety and panic.

She has also referred me to their own “in-house” counsellor who specialises in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy … which is trying to change your thoughts and perceptions in order to change your feelings and behaviour. I’m all for it. She’s given me a list of websites to look at and when I mentioned NLP that I’d been looking into (I’ll save the detail of that for another post!) she said that was the perfect sort of thing. There's quite a wait for the counselling but it's completely free.

So I have the entire afternoon now until hub gets home from work when I'll go in and catch up on what I didn't get done this morning. I’m going to clean the house then maybe take the kids to the park and read my book!!