How can a good day turn into such a crap one?

I am in a sad mood. I wasn't, sad I mean. Earlier I was actually pretty happy and I'd had a fairly good day ... got lots done at work etc and been productive.

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you'll know that just after Christmas I had a "falling out" with someone I am close to. I cant' go into detail on a public blog as to the who and why ... but let's just say after three months I sent this person a letter basically offering an olive branch. I have had "falling outs" with this person before, and no matter who has been at fault, I have always been the one to make the first move at resolution. I'd vowed to myself that this time I would leave it up to this other person ... but after three months and no contact I began to feel like I had just been cut out of this person's life.

Anyway, I was determined to give it ONE LAST SHOT .... I hand delivered a letter yesterday and I know it would have been read by late last night. I checked my phone this morning ... no message. All day I'd been checking my phone ... checking again and no message.

I sent a text message at midday to say that I knew this person would be leaving to go back home (they live a couple hours away and came for a visit, staying with family this weekend) and if they wanted to meet up for a chat then I could meet them before they left.

By the time a reply came through 3.5 hours later, they were already driving back.

I just feel so ... ugh ... I can't describe it. I feel let down. I feel sad, I feel like I am always the one who makes the first move and it's always down to me ... yet even after making all of this effort ... I still end up with nothing other than a heavy heart and tears in my eyes.

This person hadn't even told me that they were coming down this weekend - I found that out through the grapevine. I know that they have been really busy the whole entire weekend, but what would it have taken to send a text message and meet me for just half an hour to make some common ground to start from?

On the upside, the reply that I got was fairly friendly and there is a vague plan to meet up next time they are down... possibly next weekend. Here's hoping - I've missed having this person in my life.

Not such a happy new year

I can't believe my first post of 2008 is such a depressing one!

I can't go into detail as it would create more hassle than it's worth ... but I have been extremely upset by somebody I am close to. It happened on Boxing Day and I am still waiting for this person to apologise to me. It's New Years Day today and I had really hoped that I would get a call or text message to apologise and clear the air - but nothing.

As I said, I can't go into detail with the who or what, but what I can say is that I have been really upset by this person.

Thing is, it's not the first time that this person and I have fallen out, and in the past where I have been half responsible for the fallout, I am usually the one to get in touch and say "hey, you know what, let's not spoil our friendship and lets just move past this - agree to disagree" ...

Not this time. The last text I sent a few days ago said that I was ready to listen when they were ready to apologise and I have still heard nothing. I'd been hoping that the new year could be a fresh start.

More fool me. Saddens me really.