A very quick catch up!!

Well after being badgered by my daughter and receiving phone calls and emails from my real life friends over the last couple of weeks ... I figured I had really better spend some time sitting down catching up on everything here!

It hasn't been brilliant ... but I guess that much is obvious or I would have posted about anything fabulous eh! The business is still ticking over and I have got an accountant on board now who already has my first batch of paperwork. To make it easy to explain the paperwork is broken down into four bits. The first three bits are the absolutely MUST have filed asap for the tax man. I've done two out of three of those and am working on the last third. The final fourth bit will bring me absolutely up to date as far as being current goes - so that is really where I want to be, but all in good time.

I'll admit I have been deeply buried in paperwork recently, especially during the day. I am trying to split my time so that during the day I am home and around with the children because I HATE dragging them into work with me and they hate being there! I've been doing the numbers, designing flyers, working on the website ... ohh and cleaning the house during the day, and then as soon as hub is through the door at 6pm I'm off out into the workshop!

The earliest I am generally home is 8.30-9pm and it's often later than that in the evening, so to be truthful, the last thing I've felt like doing when I sit down and relax after work late at night is getting on here and moaning & complaining about how stressed out I am!! Who'd want to read about that! LOL

So anyway! I have so many things to update on, but only about ten minutes I can justify sitting here before hub will be home and I'll need to go into the workshop!!

Wednesday Market

Well .... the market stall is covering costs and that is about it! This is a pic from a couple of weeks ago and each week the stall looks better and better. All of the scented votives are in the middle section, and at both ends I have smaller displays with incense and floating candles. It's a VERY long day to be up at 5am, out of the house by 6.15am and then not home until usually around 7.30pm by the time I've unpacked everything back at the workshop.

It's very disheartening to know that I have such great products - not blowing my own trumpet, but I DO ... yet people just aren't buying. It's the same whoever you talk to and whatever business they are in ... it's slow everywhere. I stand there ALL day and just about cover the cost of the pitch and the cost of the stock that I had to sell to cover the cost of the pitch (if you read that properly and say it out loud it does make sense!) I get nowhere near covering the cost of my time standing there all day when I actually could have spent that day filling orders.

Why do I do it? Because the summer is always slow and because once I've got my pitch established and people start to see me as a familiar face on the market ... we'll be just about ready for silly season and the early Christmas shoppers will be all over me like a rash!!

Well that is the plan anyway!!

Right, hi ho, hi ho it's off to work I go! With a bucket and spade and a hang grenade hi ho, hi ho!

Anyone got a huge band-aid?

Cus I'm going to need one to plug up the holes I have been discovering in my business ... and some of these holes are YEARS old - yet I hadn't realised them at the time.

I am NEVER going to fall behind on my paperwork again! OMG the things I have learned have been incredible ... and that, I guess is the saving grace! At least having to go through this has really focussed my mind on exactly what I need to do for going forward and I am damned well going to do it. I was so engrossed in the paperwork today that when I realised I was missing a bank statement, I bundled the kids into the car (without their socks and shoes - I was in a hurry!!) and drove down to the branch to get a printed copy so I didn't have to stop work!!

I've spoken to a few accountants via email today and the plan is that once I've got my lil ducks in a row, to email the spreadsheets to a "proper" accountant for them to check over my numbers and submit the tax returns for me.

So today has been a day spent at home with the kids on half term doing housework and paperwork! I was going to take them to the park for some quality time and fresh air but it has been hammering down with rain all day... so we all spent the day cooped up in the house! I did manage to get all the laundry washed and through the tumble dryer too ... damn I can be such a housewife! LOL

Deep Breath (a quick one!!)

I can't stop to breathe properly just yet though! A few deep breaths and then get my head back down is about all I can manage!

The kids are on half term and it's just not practical to take them into the workshop with me, so I spent a good part of the day engrossed in my paperwork and getting some of my figures inputted into excel spreadsheets as that's all stuff I can do from home. I only got two and a half months worth of data entered, but I felt good about it as I had still technically been "working" during the day today even though I wasn't pouring wax.

It's crazy that I feel I somehow have to justify it to myself when I don't go into the workshop during the day. I am the only one that I have to answer to, and I'm definitely my own worst critic! I went into work for a couple of hours this evening to pack up orders and that made it okay ... but meanwhile I'm going to be a few days behind on orders after half term is finished... and that means that I have stress and anxiety incoming ... oh joy!

I have SO much to do and SO few hours to get it all done in, but the weird thing is that since I actually started tackling this all head on and making real roads with the paperwork and accounts, I've not had a single panic attack or any "stress bubbles" (like nervous butterflies in my stomach). There is seriously a phenomenal amount still to do ... but I know I can do it! Even what I did today on my spreadsheet still has things missing that I need to go back and add in (like my merchant account processing charges, cash receipts and a breakdown of my business credit card statements etc) but it's going well!

Once I have got all of my ducks in order, everything will be working perfectly and my new systems are running beautifully ... it will be worth the agony in the long run!

It's been a good day in all though - with my achievements for the day plus other reasons that I can't mention here... I have a smile on my face! It's always good to smile and I haven't done it often enough recently!

236 votives later ....

Yeah that has been the sum total of my Friday night!

Damn I live an exciting night huh!! I have a two day show Sunday & bank holiday Monday, and as I have spent most of this week working on accounts, paperwork, and current orders, I had to spend the day pouring stock today! I take mainly votives when I do shows, so it involves wicking, bagging and labelling literally hundreds of votives in preparation. When I have a whole pile of stock to package, I bring it home and attack it with a glass or four of wine! I didn't do brilliantly at the last show, so there hasn't been a huge amount to do ... but I have wick'd, bagged and labelled 236 votives tonight!!

I've had a really good day today! I haven't done a huge amount done with the paperwork & accounts, but I did get QuickBooks up to date as far as 1st May this year (from 1st April) so that only leaves me the last few weeks to input into the computer. I feel REALLY positive about the progress I have made towards the accounting ... it's only been a week since I started making inroads into sorting the backlog out, and in that time I've done sooo much! I know I could have done more - but I'm not going to kick myself about it. I'm setting myself targets and missions to achieve each day, and as long as I do that - I am happy!

It's been a crazy week ... and it isn't over yet!!

Grrrrrrrrr LOL

I woke up with astronomical toothache around 5am and it took a while for the painkillers to kick in, so by the time my alarm went off I really hadn't had enough sleep and woke up feeling groggy this morning. I swear toothache is WORSE than childbirth! At least with childbirth it's pain with a purpose and it may hurt like hell, but at least you know it's going to end!

This toothache is killing me. I'd originally thought that it was related to my period because it seemed to hit when I was on ... but even that has been hard to track recently. I didn't have a period for a few months after Christmas, then I had a nasty heavy one ... then I've had two in the last 5 weeks ... this last one has really dragged on too, but it seems to have finished today and I still have the toothache. If I could afford the dentist - I'd go ... meanwhile I'll just keep relying on painkillers!

I still went into work this mornig ready to crack on despite feeling like crap because my newfound motivation won't let a lil thing like toothache get in the way! I seriously felt like curling up on the sofa in my "staff room" and just going to sleep, but instead I got some orders poured, made some hurricanes for stock and paperwork wise, I have got my most outstanding year now filed into date order in my filing cabinet!!! Yeah, I rock!!

In true "Dee style" I've got pretty coloured dividers separating the months out so it's organised AND pretty LOL and I bought a pink notepad to staple my current cash receipts into! LOL Tomorrow's plan is to start on the rest of the filing and I've set myself a target of this weekend to have it ALL filed in monthly order! By next week I need to be going through my old bank statements (which I have also found and filed!!!) to add up all of the incomings and outgoings year by year. Once I reach that point, I'll be able to make an appointment with my local tax office and they will help me to fill in the returns once I have the numbers. This totally negates the need to pay an accountant and saves money -- something I love to do!!! Okay so I won't have a full accounts listing for those outstanding years, but I'll know the numbers and I'll be able to work out exactly what I owe the tax man and I'll have the paperwork to back it all up.

Plus ... with L's help I have been working out exactly what my current costs are ... ie the essential things that I need to pay to keep the business afloat and I have a much better idea of what actually constitutes a good and bad week now!!

The thing that has frustrated me today is that all of the data entry I did last night into QuickBooks has all been for nothing because I realised this afternoon that it was all screwy!! I realised this when I was invoicing a customer and recording it as paid, then marking the actual payment into my bank register ... I figured it was registering the payment twice as far as income goes and thereby giving a false profit reading! This is not good!! It's what you get for a free download version huh!

I do actually own a full working copy of QuickBooks with the key code and registration code .... mine is the 2001 version and I rang QuickBooks customer service hoping to get a download site so that I could re-install it without the CD, but unfortunately my version is so old now that they no longer support it! The woman I spoke to was really helpful and said that as I was an existing customer I can get the current 2008 pro version for a discounted price AND I could pay monthly via direct debit. I snapped it up! It also includes an upgrade to the 2009 version when that's ready. CDs are on the way and that will then be my way of getting the current financial year (from April 1st onwards) absolutely 100% up to date!

I haven't had a single anxiety attack or felt the real "rush" of stress and panic since I started going through the paperwork last Thursday. Funny that eh. The crazy thing is that I've know all along that THIS has been one of the root causes of my stress, yet it's been the thing that I have avoided doing for so frigging long now. I'm still very worried about it all because the more I get involved with the numbers, the more I worry I can't afford to make it ... but that just makes me MORE determined to sort it all out!!

Nathan's Birthday :-)

Well he made it to 8 years old!! I do have some pics, but I've had such a hectic day (more about that later) that I haven't had a chance to download anything yet!

Nathan had a fabulous day - pressies in the morning and he got a new Nintendo DS (his third one due to breaking them GRRRR!) with a new game from his dad and me ... some Ben 10 toys from his Aunt & Uncle, a cheque from his Gran and a football & England watch from his Nan.

In the past we have always gone waaaaaay overboard with presents, but this year I'd purposely said to hub that I didn't want to be spending a fortune on extra little bits and pieces because a) we can't afford to, and b) we are spending £100 between us on a new DS AND a new game!!

To be honest, Nathan loved what he got, he's a happy boy, and I don't think he missed out AT ALL with "quantity" because he does understand the value of what he got too.

Apparently he had an "awesome" day at school too! Always good to hear!

This evening we all went out for a family meal at the restaurant around the corner (The Sussex Potter) at Nathan's choice! Ate waaaay too much, had fabulous desserts, made a complete mess and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!

Where's Dee up to with the paperwork I hear you asking?

Well, so kind of you to ask! LOL Okay so my mission today was to sort through the oldest papedwork and get that in month order... nice big tick on the ole checklist there! Tomorrow the plan is to START 2005 month order filing and get some orders poured. I sent out a fair few boxes today, got paperwork filed AND I have even organised a system to file all of the current and future paperwork too!

Damn I am actually loving sorting all of this out --- I just WISH I had got off of my giant (slowly shrinking thanks to the gym) backside months --- no, years ago! *sigh* I'd be in a MUCH better position today if I was *insert more deep sighing and regret* Ack ok enough with the self butt kicking ... I'm sorting it out NOW and really getting into it!! At work today amidst a massive circle of paperwork (12 months in a year = 12 piles of papers!) .... I stopped and just smiled to myself because I feel like weight is being lifted from me daily ... hahaha no wonder the gym is working for me ... I'm exercising my stress calories away!!

Anyway ... (lol I do ramble huh)

This evening my mission is to input every customer I've had since April 1st 2008 into my newly installed QuickBooks and raise an invoice through the software so that I can see straight away exactly how much I'm making currently. I'm not going to allow myself to go to bed until it's done! I've got 3 more weeks of customers to input from the bank statement up to the current date, then I just have to add the ones from the shopping cart that I haven't been paid for yet .... but I'll forgive myself not doing that bit until tomorrow - well, depending on what time it is when I'm done with this lot anyway!!

A couple of people even commented today that I am sounding happier and looking better! I swear it could be a combination of losing that extra 3lbs outside of my comfort zone, braving up to sorting through the paperwork ... or all manner of outside influences and you wanna know what? I don't care! I feel more positive right now than I've felt in a l-o-n-g time and it feels great! I can face the world and whatever is thrown at me tomorrow because I'm not going to sweat the small stuff anymore (nope gonna file it instead! HAH!) and damnit forget the present --- I'm living for the future from now onwards!!!!

Okay time to come down from my cloud and get my head back into these numbers!!!

I'm gonna be a paperwork QUEEN!!!

The majority of my crap stuff paperwork has now been sorted into date order, and it has only taken the sum total of a couple of hours a day over the last 3 days. How sad is that? I truly am kicking myself for not doing this sooner - especially considering how quickly I've managed to get through it all since Friday afternoon and how far behind I had allowed myself to get. I could have done this months ... years ago. I will never EVER be in a position where I don't know my numbers (or at least be able to lay my hands on the info right away!) ever again!!

Okay there is still a LONG way to go to get to zero, but the worst part of going through the boxes and organising it into date is done! Next step is to make sure I have all my bank statements dating right back so that I can go through it all and meticulously record every single outgoing and incoming through the bank, and then file all of my cash receipts. Alongside that I've installed new accounts software on my laptop so I am going to find *everything* from 1st April this year so that at least going forward my tax year from 08-09 will be 100% in order!!

I couldn't have done it without L's help! Just having such a close friend in my corner who knows me well enough to say "Dee, you're a great candlemaker and your product truly is terrific, but you are fucking shite with your paperwork!" has been just what I needed to motivate me! LOL there aren't many people who actually have the BALLS to stand up to me, but L is one of them! L has been there for me in a way I hadn't ever seen coming - and I am truly grateful.

I need to prove I can do it ... not to anyone else, but to myself! I am my own worst enemy and I know it! God, I feel so motivated right now and so ready for tomorrow!! Lemme at Monday morning so I can get started on my "to do" list and make some phone calls!

And she procrastinates no longer....

I was up, motivated and raring to go this morning! I went to the gym as soon as I’d dropped the kids at school and had a really good workout… I’m finding my routine pleasantly gruelling, i.e. I feel the burn while I am doing it, but I think I will definitely be looking to increase the resistance when my 6 week review comes up! I came home for a quick shower then headed straight into work.

Wait, it gets better! I spent a couple of hours going through things at work, then it began …

** drum roll **

The paperwork has been started!! I had a friend helping me today, and I swear that L was a worse slave driver than I thought I was! L is firmly of the “touch every piece of paper once” - i.e. file it or shred it school of thought, and I have to agree it’s a much better way than my “throw it in a box and worry about it later” method! L is one of the few people in the world who I can really count on for an honest to god bottom line opinion and who also isn't afraid to tell me either! A perfect person to help get me organised!!

We got through SO MUCH in just a couple of hours - it really didn't take THAT long and it wasn't THAT bad at all. I was really kicking myself for putting it off for so long ad not doing it sooner. If I had just spent half an hour a day for a week I’d have achieved the same thing myself and I could have done it months years ago. Okay enough kicking, I'm doing it now and I am NEVER going to let myself get to this point ever again. Besides, even if I didn't want to get straightened out (which I do!!) well, let's just say that I don't think I will be given any choice in the matter! LOL

This box was FULL - and I mean stuffed FULL of crap! This is only one of the boxes that I have with paperwork in, but it was certainly the bulk of it!

And look at it now!! It's less than a quarter full and it's totally organised! All of the paperwork is neatly filed in date order with card separators until it moves into the filing cabinet when we've been through the other boxes. All of the rubbish got shredded and every piece of paper got anally sorted into date order! The result is a much lighter box ... and an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders!! There is still a serious amount to do and I'm not entirely sure that I have every single piece of paper together yet, but damnit it feels so good to have really started it.

The next stage is probably going to be the worst, but it's also going to be the most interesting, because that is the part where I will find out my numbers and THAT is what I need to know to stay in business. I need to log absolutely every single piece of paper, every incoming and outgoing that I have and work it all out to the last penny. I need to know where it's all coming from ... and where it's all going!

It scares the crap out of me, but strangely, I am looking forward to it at the same time! If I have a hope in hell of making this work, then I need to be absolutely on the ball with my paperwork... and it has helped enormously to have had someone else there today to keep me going.

I feel so motivated and ready for it. Bring on tomorrow!!!

Why do I always worry more when things are going well?! It’s such a me thing to do. I worry when there is nothing to worry about because I’m sure there should be something to worry about! Okay, so it’s not like I have nothing to worry about – there’s certainly plenty of that, but I think that really facing my demons has really helped and because I’ve made SUCH a good start on sorting my sh*t out, it has reflected back in other parts of my life too.

I have realised that it’s pointless waiting for the good things to happen to you. You gotta get out there and go find them, or at least be in a place emotionally where you can see new doors and opportunities open to you. That’s how I have been feeling over the last few days since the crappy weekend!!

I went into work feeling refreshed & motivated (gotta love pills for a decent night’s sleep!) and got on a major cleaning mission! I need to find every single piece of paperwork that I have got, and in order to do that ... I need to go through every single corner of the workshop, so I started in one corner and I’ve been working my way round, so the workshop is looking great! I also completed several orders ready to pack tomorrow and the new order tracking & dispatch system that I’ve implemented is already working! I had a couple of customers call to ask the status of their order … I was able to easily find their order details and give them the tracking number, so it’s all good!!

I’ve spent a lot of time today thinking about the future, and it’s amazing the difference that a positive spin can put on things. I am determined to give it one more shot … if I go down then I’ll go down fighting all the way!!