A funeral, a 6 hour drive and a new melter! YEAH!

Well finally I am getting somewhere! When my melter packed up and died last night it was all I could do to not wallow in self pity because it's been the way things have gone recently!! It's seemed that no matter how many steps forward I've taken, I've ended up behind even more!

It seriously had me questioning whether it is all worth it because it really is just one thing after another and for a nano-second I considered shutting it all down!!! How can a candlemaker make candles and get ready for two market days with no wax melter? LOL

Anyway after some late night surfing and research last night, I tracked down a local bee farm and they had the melter I use in stock! YEAH! Soooo this morning, on the way to Wiltshire for my Uncle Bill's funeral, I drove 20 mins out of the way to pick up the melter. It cost more than one I could have bought online and had delivered, but I was able to get it TODAY and that makes a huge difference! I'll take time over money any day!!

The funeral went okay ... the weird part was being in a room full of family and not knowing half all their names. The last time we all met up was at the last family funeral. In a morbid sense it made me wonder who would be next. The last funeral was my uncle Ashley and before that it was my dad.

Anyway, after I got back to the workshop and plugged in the melter I had a big smile on my face!!!

FINALLY I have ... (in no particular order!!)

• A working phone line
• A dead PC but a laptop that can be used instead
• Working broadband and an internet connection
• A functional wax melter
• No excuses not to be working!!!

It feels good! It feels goooooooooooood!! God I am so short on time that I couldn't have managed if I hadn't got hold of a melter today! Tomorrow I have Megan's friends coming over for a girlie day and a cinema trip plus a sleepover so I won't be able to work ... that literally leaves Sunday to do EVERYTHING!!

Ugh! LOL

Market Day!!

The sun was shining - it was a lovely day and I covered costs and made some profit! Even getting up at 5am wasn't so bad today.

I have so many ideas for stall display! Last week was utter shite because of the weather so it didn't really count ... really this week is counted as my first week, so all things considered I did okay ... Next week will be even better! Last week I had two pasting tables that pretty much fell to pieces - this week I had my proper stock shelves and it looked so much better, but still so much room for improvement!!

Ohh here's a pic of the votives! with their new labels! See, I remembered and I got the pic sorted eventually!!!

Ohhh and because it was outside and the sun was shining ... I got a nice tan too!

Hangover is not the word!!!!

Yesterday was great fun!! I went over to Lou's straight after work to take photos of her daughter (R, who is 16) before she went off to her prom! Ohh she looked beautiful - well, all of the girls did ... and it scared me looking at how grown up they all looked because it forced me to think about how that will be me sending Megan off to her prom one day!

Anyway, after we'd seen Ria off, we went for a few drinks in Brighton, then found a nice place to have a meal, then back to Lou's where we indulged in several bottles of wine and put the world to rights before finally dragging ourselves to bed at 4.30am!!

Oooops .... needless to say I woke up feeling decidedly squiffy this morning but as it was self inflicted I couldn't give myself any sympathy so I hauled arse into work to do some packing!

I am definitely DEFINITELY aiming to do the market next week. I've finally found somewhere that I can get the perfect size tables from too! I'd been in a bit of a flap because I'd found tables half the size I wanted from Argos and figured I'd just get two of them ... but UGH they were out of stock, and the closest other stores didn't have them either! If I don't have tables, I don't have a stall! Anyway, a flash of inspiration this evening and I've found them at B&Q plus checked stock and they have them...

Happy bunny!

So anyway, an early night tonight sans alcohol fresh for tomorrow - a full day at work to get as much as possible done!!

It just gets better! (And quick moan about my period!)

What a fanfuckingtastic day!!

In chronological order of happening! ...

1. My appointment with my solicitor went very well. I definitely have a case and that is what I wanted to hear - somebody with a legal background who can turn around and say HEY you can't charge somebody for something that they haven't received. It was a very positive appointment.

2. When I got back to the workshop, I got a call from the manager of a weekly market in town nearby that gets a LOT of passing traffic. It's on a weekday but it is very popular and it's a slot I desperately want! He called to say that there is space for me as a casual trader when I want it. It basically means that I need to turn up there at 7am in the morning and hope for a pitch with no guarantee of getting one, so sometimes I'll end up coming straight back home again ... but, once I've been as a casual for a few weeks, I will be able to sign on as a regular. This is massive! It will be like having a shopfront without having a shop! I need to do a fair bit of work before I can think about it - stock building and organising a decent display table (oh and getting the tables as I have to provide all of that) but it's a very positive move forward!

3. I got all of the stock packed up for the market in East Preston tomorrow morning. I don't feel like I have enough stock - but I *always* feel that and I *always* come home with plenty ... so I'm happy about what I've got! Plus, the new shrink wrap packaging looks amazing

4. A cheque arrived for £192 and it was paid into the business account within two hours of opening the envelope! It's all about cash flow right now and as long as the cash is a flowin' I am a happy chick!

5. Orders are coming through the website again! It slowed up last week - but I put a lot of that down to it being the end of the month and Glastonbury being on as well could have had a LOT to do with it!!

6. Had a really nice chat on the phone with my mum this afternoon! We caught up on gossip and I told her about the weekly market ... she has offered to have the children after school until their dad gets back from work - as long as it will fit in with her work hours!

I'm afraid to say it too loudly (touch wood) but ... it all seems to be going okay right now! I know I have a LONG way to go and I'm still sinking right now, but I'm closer to "the light at the end of the tunnel" than I have ever been and it feels GOOD! I have to thank L for most of it, errr umm some of it hell okay - all of it! The eternal butt kicking and the way I now question everything ... it's all down to L!! God, if L hadn't come into my life at the right point, then I dread to think where I would be!!

WARNING PERIOD TALK!!!
Okay time for the period talk! I didn't have a period at all for a few months after Christmas, then a mega nasty heavy one - then two came 2 weeks apart! I worked out it's been around 5-6 weeks since my last one and it's worrying because my body seems to be so screwed at the moment. Trust me when I say there is absolutely ZERO chance I could be pregnant - bwahahaa (cobwebs is not the word!) it's just that it feels so "unfemale" not to get my period every month!

So anyway, lack of period aside, the upshot is that it's been a really really REALLY good day :-)

All missions achieved!

God I love it when I can get to the end of a day and think yeah - I achieved all of my missions today! I have made a lot of stock votives & packaged most of them ready for East Preston on Wednesday ... and all of the orders that came in over the weekend have been poured / packed & boxed!

It's all good!!

I have an appointment with a solicitor tomorrow to get legal advice on a "business" issue that I have. I don't want to go into too much detail in a public post, except to say I am being charged quite a large amount of money for a service that I have not received. There has been some back and forth discussion between myself and the other party via email, but before I reply - I need legal advice. This is an amount of over £500 that I am being charged per quarter ... and if it isn't illegal to charge someone for this, then it should be! I spoke to a solicitor over the phone today and it's a free initial consultation ... so I'll get the advice I need ... reply to their email and if I don't get the response I expect (ie they will deduct the amount I am disputing) then the solicitor will send a letter and war will begin!!

Anyway that's about all I can say in public on the subject!

My priorities right now??

** Sort out this £500 bill - either through my own battle or a legal one!
** Keep working on the accounts (getting through it a bit every day)
** Make a butt load of money!

Simple eh!

A great weekend ....

I've worked a LOT but it's actually been a nice relaxing weekend ... ie I've not been at a show! I've been in the workshop both days and it's almost good in a way that the site went offline for a while because it meant I was able to completely catch up on EVERYTHING without anything new coming in. It's also meant that as the new orders have come in this week since the site has been back online ... well I've been getting them poured and dispatched within 48 hours which is terrific as far as me AND my customers are concerned!!

It's a huge relief ... things seem to be going okay and I almost didn't want to say that out loud incase it jinxes it somehow! (touching very large bit of wood!) I'm back to 8th/9th in Google for my keyword searches at the moment instead of the 4th place I found myself last night, but it is still all good and I'm not that worried. I've done a lot of "tweaking" over the last couple of days on the website and hopefully won't be too long until the search engines pick up my changes!

Soooo currently tomorrow I will be packing up the orders that came in over the weekend (cus baby they are ALL done!) and then if nothing new is in overnight ... I have a "to do" list the size of ... well it's pretty big! LOL

Yeah baby!!!

Well the hard work I have been putting in has paid off! The website is finally back in the top half of google! I could always rely on coming up at least 3rd for my key word search terms, and when the site disappeared off of google completely after the web host nightmare ... well .... let's just say I was panicking!!

Yesterday evening I found I was back on the first page, but when I checked this evening (after more work put in!) and found I was 4th in google ... well happy dance wasn't the word! I've worked my proverbial backside off to get the site back up there and I am soooo relieved it's been worth it!!

I am literally physically exhausted though! I spend every waking minute either number crunching, buried in the website, designing the new catalogue or working in some form or other and the lack of sleep has taken it's toll on me! On the upside, so many people have noticed how positive I have been lately and that's been great.

I still owe most of it to L! Without L around to kick my proverbial backside, well I dread to think where I would be!

Anyway, it's late - I'm knackered and still have the summer 08 catalogue to finish before bed!

OMG I'm a bad person ... I'm SORRY!!!!!

But OMG what a week!!!!

Seriously I've had the most amazing week and I've worked my ass off ... which is the ONLY reason I haven't blogged for 4 days ... oooooops!!! Jeeeez, I actually can't remember the last time I left it that long before blogging!

But look .... this is what I have been doing!!! LOL

I am sooooooooooooooooooo pleased with it! Check it out in all it's pinkness at http://www.deelights.co.uk

It's been a weird week!! L has helped me enormously with some proverbial butt kicking which has really motivated me into getting things done!

I've been drinking a lil bit this evening (yeah Dee had a night off!) so I can't promise how much I'll actually get written ... but I will try!!

L helped me to work out exactly how much I need to make per week to cover the overheads that the business has and that has been a really good figure to work out. Can you believe I actually didn't know that number before?? It's crazy. The best thing is that based on the highest outgoing figure (which doesn't take into account the savings I am working on making at the moment) ... I have covered what we need to make this week - plus I am up on next week.

Considering that until TODAY the website wasn't listed in google for my key search term "scented candles" ... that's been phenomenal!!

You should have seen me earlier when I did a google search and found myself on the first page of google! YEAH baby!! I've spent the last few nights tweaking the website and working on optimising it for the search engines and it is such a relief that it has paid off! I literally ... LITERALLY did a happy dance around my front room to such an extent that my 8 year old son told me off for swearing!!!!!!!

Ooooops!

Wellllllll it was a huge thing!! After the site being offline for 2 weeks, then not being listed in google as the spiders had been out ... and obviously my hard work over the last few days has really paid off!

*still doing the happy candlemaker dance*

Seriously ... the happy candlemaker dance is something to be seen - it really is! Maybe one day I'll get someone to video me doing it! LOL

So anyway ... tonight I've been feeling really positive and it's been GREAT! I'm exhausted - completely and utterly, but I'm happy and loving the fact that it's Friday night and I don't need to get up early!!

I was asked an interesting question by a candlemaking friend in Ireland on MSN tonight. He is a hobbyist and at the point where he is almost ready to start as a business. It was an interesting chat because he's a fellow candlemaker, yet he's not technically competition as he makes carved candles PLUS he's in Ireland!

Anyway ... he asked me what it would really take to make me happy (this is after 3 hours of MSN chatting!) and it really caused me to stop and think.

What do I want/need to make me happy?

I want to be "comfortable". That's all! Yeah it would be great to be rich but lets face it, that is a pipe dream for most of us!! Comfortable to me means knowing that all of the bills are paid and that if I happen to see a pair of shoes tha I "must have" ... that I can buy them and not worry about whether I can afford them! Call me superficial & shallow because I want to live in a nice house and have nice things around me - the pinker & sparklier the better!! Does that make me a bad person? I don't exactly want to live in a Swarovski encrusted world, but a lil more glitter & sparkle never hurt!!

I want my kids to grow up knowing they are loved and for them to feel secure & happy. I want them to grow into confident adults ready to take on the world no matter what challenges are thrown at them. I want to be their mother and their friend at the same time and to never lose touch with who they are as individuals.

Good friends. This is vital. I need my close friends - they are the ones that keep me sane through the dark times!

I want my business to succeed and to finally turn a profit enough for me to draw a serious wage and be able to achieve all of my other dreams without bleeding the business account dry and stabbing my own self in the foot!

I want to come home at the end of a long and hard day & snuggle up in the arms of a man who loves me more than anything, thinks I am a complete and utter goddess and who will succumb to my every whim!

Is that really too much to ask for??

Trust me there's a lot more I would love to add to that wish list .... but that's what it will take before I am truly happy.

The website is back!!!!

FINALLY!!!! I phoned the new host first thing this morning and within minutes, the site was up! It will take a while before the search engines pick it up again, but meanwhile I plan on doing letterbox drops, direct marketing and really pulling out as many of the stops as I possibly can!

I'm really pleased with how it turned out! L helped me make some tweaky changes to it earlier and the logo / branding has come out brilliantly.

I've also already had an order from the site - from a regular customer, so at least that's some pennies today with the first day being back online!!

Gawd I am sooooooooooooo utterly knackered! I really am. I didn't post last night after getting back from the show because a) it was another crappy day and I just about covered costs, and b) I was physically and mentally exhausted!!!

I still have so much work to do before I can think about sleep tonight though!!

www.deelights.co.uk - any comments on the site design welcome!

The best Friday the 13th EVER!!!!

OMG it turned out to be such a wicked day in the end!! I had a meeting with my bank manager this morning and it went very well. The whole purpose of the meeting was an annual business review, but we talked about my cash flow problems and ways to resolve them ... and she waived my bank charges for this month and also increased my overdraft for a month to cover all of the direct debits due to go out. This means that during the period that the website has been down and I have zero coming in from WorldPay (which is paid to me 28 days after processing) ... I don't have to worry about the bank outgoings. That's a huge relief.

She offered me a business credit card - and I said no! I was proud of myself!! I was sitting there thinking hmmm it would be a nice easy way out RIGHT NOW - I could order a load of fragrances and a butt load of wax, but it wouldn't help in a months time when the payment was due in full!! Sooo instead I'll be getting a debit card which will help enormously and save me having to give my mum cash and borrow her card!!

THEN .... completely out of the blue this afternoon ... my wonderful friend L lent me the money to get the website back online AND pay the set up fee for NetBanx so that the cash flow issue won't BE an issue as NetBanx clear the funds to my account within 7 days instead of 28! NetBanx will take a couple of weeks to set up, but it means that when I hit the period where I have naff all coming in from WorldPay ... it will only be a week until the NetBanx payments come in and I can suffer through a week!!

It's just been such an amazing day, and to think, this morning I was ready to vent! Sitting here right now I can't even remember what I was going to vent about! Hehehee Ahhh it's just nice to have a smile on my face and feel positive! Where would I be without my close friends!

Part of what has been so amazing is L's complete and utter belief in me. It means a lot to know that there is someone outside of my immediate family who cares enough about me and believes enough in me, my products and my potential to achieve more in the future ... to hand over a wad of cash to help me out!! That shows a lot of trust and it means a lot.

Grinning like only Dee can grin :-p

Ohhh what a GREAT day! LOL I just love it when I can start a post like that!

I'm still very much bobbing to keep my head above water (and the website is going to be down till the middle of next week) ... BUT it's all looking up and that is (partly!) why I have a grin on my face this evening! I also had a cash sale today, so that added to what I took last night will get paid into the bank on Monday. I've got a booking Thursday night in a pub in Ashington for a ladies night, and then next weekend is a 2 days event near Arundel.

So aaanyway yes it was an utterly delicious afternoon! The sun was shining, I got LOADS done at work ... and even managed a fair few unexpected things too *wicked grin*

This evening I HAVE to get to grips and make a final decision on the layout for the redesigned website, so that once we are finally back online - it's all ready to go!! The utterly worst thing would be to have the site fixed ... but no content to upload because I'm certainly not going to put the old site back up when I'm so close on a new version! LOL

Aaaaanyway the longer I sit here procrastinating about it - the less time I have to do it! LOL

Thank Crunchie it's Friday!!

Whew what a week!

It has all ended on a fairly good note though! Let me start from the beginning! Yesterday I spoke to a woman who was organising a school PTA Ladies pamper evening in Rottingdean ... tonight! It was short notice but I didn't have any plans so I said I'd love to go.

Soooo today I spent the day packaging stock for this lil event. I decided to make a conscious effort to try and shake things up a bit for shows!! I usually take about 30 baskets full of of votives, and the baskets are great for shows as it gives people lots of chances to sniff a wide variety of different things ... but it hasn't been bringing in the sales.

This is what I took tonight instead ....


I took stacks of 3 votives in different scent groups (fruit, floral, spice, food, perfume etc) and as many hurricanes as I had in stock plus my flip flop floating candles. I took as much in 2.5 hours this evening as I did ALL day at my last one!! Crazy!

My friend L gave me a huge tip today that possibly saved my ass tonight. It was duly commented that the packaging looks terrific on the votives, but the scent just wasn't gonna get through 2 layers of cellophane packaging!! It worked a treat!! At the last minute I grabbed a handful of "sniffy" votives in the same scents as the ones I had packaged up ... and OMG it worked a treat!! I invited people to come up and sniff the samples and let me know which ones they liked so that I could point them in the right direction!!

The flip flop floaters went down a treat ....

But then, they are sooo gorgeous that they usually do!!

I feel really positive! I didn't exactly make a million ... but I made more than I did from sitting on my ass tonight *grin*

I have a LONG way to go before my head is above water ... but for the first time I feel positive.

I want to marry my dentist and have his babies!!

Well c'mon girls, wouldn't you want to go to the dentist more often if yours looked more like mine?! Somehow it makes the unbearable so much more bearable when you have something pretty to look at and ohhh he's definitely good to look at!

This fine specimin of dentistry is otherwise known as Paul Winkley from The Strand Dental in Worthing. The photo is cribbed from their website - I'm not like stalking my dentist or anything! Hahaha Anyway, when I went for my first consultation it was after years (and I mean about 16 years) of not going to the dentist and being incredibly lucky with my teeth.

I'd had a bad experience when I was younger and been petrified of dentists ever since ... but as soon as I walked into the building I just felt at ease. It's private and not NHS, but I tell you --- you get every penny's worth out of it. This place is purpose built - ie not some crappy converted house with 1940s carpets that smells of old people and dental mouthwash! I must have phoned like eleventy hundred dentists, explaining what a nervous patient I was ... and saying I'd call back .... until I spoke to The Strand! They just put me at ease over the phone, and it cemented it when I walked into the building!

My very first consultation with Paul was a couple of years ago and I was in so much pain. It was excruciating! I needed root canal work AND an extraction, so fairly major work... but Paul promised me that I wouldn't feel *any* pain ... and as I was particularly nervous (it was like a white knuckle ride except I LOVE rollercoasters!) he even gave me an extra boost of pain killer!

Know what? I didn't feel a thing and even the initial mild discomfort I felt while sitting in the dentist chair was NOTHING compared to the feeling of being totally pain free when I left there!!

I would have gone to the dentist a lot sooner with this recent pain if I hadn't seriously believed it was related to my periods because the last couple I've had ... I've had toothache at the same time but it's been controllable with pain killers! It has been getting worse over this week to the point that the over the counter pain relief wasn't even touching the sides ... so today I got me a dentist appointment!!

An x-ray, extraction (and £92) later I am 100% pain free. I can even swallow REALLY cold drinks now without wincing!!

God damnit I'm going to sleep well tonight!!!

Nathan's Birthday :-)

Well he made it to 8 years old!! I do have some pics, but I've had such a hectic day (more about that later) that I haven't had a chance to download anything yet!

Nathan had a fabulous day - pressies in the morning and he got a new Nintendo DS (his third one due to breaking them GRRRR!) with a new game from his dad and me ... some Ben 10 toys from his Aunt & Uncle, a cheque from his Gran and a football & England watch from his Nan.

In the past we have always gone waaaaaay overboard with presents, but this year I'd purposely said to hub that I didn't want to be spending a fortune on extra little bits and pieces because a) we can't afford to, and b) we are spending £100 between us on a new DS AND a new game!!

To be honest, Nathan loved what he got, he's a happy boy, and I don't think he missed out AT ALL with "quantity" because he does understand the value of what he got too.

Apparently he had an "awesome" day at school too! Always good to hear!

This evening we all went out for a family meal at the restaurant around the corner (The Sussex Potter) at Nathan's choice! Ate waaaay too much, had fabulous desserts, made a complete mess and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!

Where's Dee up to with the paperwork I hear you asking?

Well, so kind of you to ask! LOL Okay so my mission today was to sort through the oldest papedwork and get that in month order... nice big tick on the ole checklist there! Tomorrow the plan is to START 2005 month order filing and get some orders poured. I sent out a fair few boxes today, got paperwork filed AND I have even organised a system to file all of the current and future paperwork too!

Damn I am actually loving sorting all of this out --- I just WISH I had got off of my giant (slowly shrinking thanks to the gym) backside months --- no, years ago! *sigh* I'd be in a MUCH better position today if I was *insert more deep sighing and regret* Ack ok enough with the self butt kicking ... I'm sorting it out NOW and really getting into it!! At work today amidst a massive circle of paperwork (12 months in a year = 12 piles of papers!) .... I stopped and just smiled to myself because I feel like weight is being lifted from me daily ... hahaha no wonder the gym is working for me ... I'm exercising my stress calories away!!

Anyway ... (lol I do ramble huh)

This evening my mission is to input every customer I've had since April 1st 2008 into my newly installed QuickBooks and raise an invoice through the software so that I can see straight away exactly how much I'm making currently. I'm not going to allow myself to go to bed until it's done! I've got 3 more weeks of customers to input from the bank statement up to the current date, then I just have to add the ones from the shopping cart that I haven't been paid for yet .... but I'll forgive myself not doing that bit until tomorrow - well, depending on what time it is when I'm done with this lot anyway!!

A couple of people even commented today that I am sounding happier and looking better! I swear it could be a combination of losing that extra 3lbs outside of my comfort zone, braving up to sorting through the paperwork ... or all manner of outside influences and you wanna know what? I don't care! I feel more positive right now than I've felt in a l-o-n-g time and it feels great! I can face the world and whatever is thrown at me tomorrow because I'm not going to sweat the small stuff anymore (nope gonna file it instead! HAH!) and damnit forget the present --- I'm living for the future from now onwards!!!!

Okay time to come down from my cloud and get my head back into these numbers!!!

And she procrastinates no longer....

I was up, motivated and raring to go this morning! I went to the gym as soon as I’d dropped the kids at school and had a really good workout… I’m finding my routine pleasantly gruelling, i.e. I feel the burn while I am doing it, but I think I will definitely be looking to increase the resistance when my 6 week review comes up! I came home for a quick shower then headed straight into work.

Wait, it gets better! I spent a couple of hours going through things at work, then it began …

** drum roll **

The paperwork has been started!! I had a friend helping me today, and I swear that L was a worse slave driver than I thought I was! L is firmly of the “touch every piece of paper once” - i.e. file it or shred it school of thought, and I have to agree it’s a much better way than my “throw it in a box and worry about it later” method! L is one of the few people in the world who I can really count on for an honest to god bottom line opinion and who also isn't afraid to tell me either! A perfect person to help get me organised!!

We got through SO MUCH in just a couple of hours - it really didn't take THAT long and it wasn't THAT bad at all. I was really kicking myself for putting it off for so long ad not doing it sooner. If I had just spent half an hour a day for a week I’d have achieved the same thing myself and I could have done it months years ago. Okay enough kicking, I'm doing it now and I am NEVER going to let myself get to this point ever again. Besides, even if I didn't want to get straightened out (which I do!!) well, let's just say that I don't think I will be given any choice in the matter! LOL

This box was FULL - and I mean stuffed FULL of crap! This is only one of the boxes that I have with paperwork in, but it was certainly the bulk of it!

And look at it now!! It's less than a quarter full and it's totally organised! All of the paperwork is neatly filed in date order with card separators until it moves into the filing cabinet when we've been through the other boxes. All of the rubbish got shredded and every piece of paper got anally sorted into date order! The result is a much lighter box ... and an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders!! There is still a serious amount to do and I'm not entirely sure that I have every single piece of paper together yet, but damnit it feels so good to have really started it.

The next stage is probably going to be the worst, but it's also going to be the most interesting, because that is the part where I will find out my numbers and THAT is what I need to know to stay in business. I need to log absolutely every single piece of paper, every incoming and outgoing that I have and work it all out to the last penny. I need to know where it's all coming from ... and where it's all going!

It scares the crap out of me, but strangely, I am looking forward to it at the same time! If I have a hope in hell of making this work, then I need to be absolutely on the ball with my paperwork... and it has helped enormously to have had someone else there today to keep me going.

I feel so motivated and ready for it. Bring on tomorrow!!!

Why do I always worry more when things are going well?! It’s such a me thing to do. I worry when there is nothing to worry about because I’m sure there should be something to worry about! Okay, so it’s not like I have nothing to worry about – there’s certainly plenty of that, but I think that really facing my demons has really helped and because I’ve made SUCH a good start on sorting my sh*t out, it has reflected back in other parts of my life too.

I have realised that it’s pointless waiting for the good things to happen to you. You gotta get out there and go find them, or at least be in a place emotionally where you can see new doors and opportunities open to you. That’s how I have been feeling over the last few days since the crappy weekend!!

I went into work feeling refreshed & motivated (gotta love pills for a decent night’s sleep!) and got on a major cleaning mission! I need to find every single piece of paperwork that I have got, and in order to do that ... I need to go through every single corner of the workshop, so I started in one corner and I’ve been working my way round, so the workshop is looking great! I also completed several orders ready to pack tomorrow and the new order tracking & dispatch system that I’ve implemented is already working! I had a couple of customers call to ask the status of their order … I was able to easily find their order details and give them the tracking number, so it’s all good!!

I’ve spent a lot of time today thinking about the future, and it’s amazing the difference that a positive spin can put on things. I am determined to give it one more shot … if I go down then I’ll go down fighting all the way!!

Is this a record for good days in a row???

Today has been another good day and it worries me. I am now worried that things are now going too well... damn how long has it been since I have had four good days in a row??? Grrrr, see the pessimist in me thinks that this can't be right - that this is ME and I'm not allowed for things to run smoothly in my life! Whenever things work out something ALWAYS goes wrong so I'm kind of just waiting for it, and that is NOT a good thing for my anxiety!!

I got so much done at work --- and a butt load of orders poured. Yep, you read correctly ... there have actually BEEN orders over the last few days!! I don't know ... maybe it was due to the fact that mid April people really do have absolutely NO money ... still, at least I know it's not just me ... I've spoken to so many other small businesses and they are all in the same position.

Still, the fact that things have somewhat picked up mean that I'm not QUITE in need of my stress kit yet ....

I need to print this A4 size and pin it up somewhere!

So back to today ... I got a full run of hurricanes made plus a buttload of orders poured ready to pack and dispatch tomorrow ... I love being so motivated and ready for work! I am definitely at my best when I am busy!

I'm still thinking a LOT about my other "option" at the moment and it IS a very real serious possibility. There are only two things stopping me from going for it right now ... one is the business - I need to be able to prove to myself that it can support me ... and the other I can't say here. All I'll say about the other "thing" is that the likelihood of it EVER happening is more than slim ... but it's still something that affects me hugely on a daily basis. Damn that's already too much said on a public space!!!

So anyway swiftly changing the subject .... crap I can't now I've been thinking about it! Okay I'm heading to bed - LOL easier that way!!!

I got my mojo back!!!

I was at work with the birds this morning ... ie bright and early after dropping the kids at school ... and by 11.30 I was looking at the clock and AMAZED that it was only 11.30! I got sooooo much done at work - LOL if there had been a camera on me I swear it would have looked like I was on super speed!! There was just something in me today that felt motivated and on one ... I swear it's because I had such a great weekend!

I did some late night shopping last night on eBay. I went to bed fairly early, but I couldn't sleep ... so I surfed eBay for USA & New York scrapbook papers & embellishments! and I think tackling my New York trip would be a GREAT project to get me back in the swing of things! I bought a TON of stuff for my sister too ... to really get her started on it! Hehehe over this weekend I think I may have just created a monster!

I'd lost my scrapping mojo for a bit, but after being creative with mum & my sister over the weekend ... my mojo is back!!! In fact, it's back so much that I spent quite a while this evening re-organising my craft room!! I'm itching to start scrapping again now!! Trouble is ... once I start that's it and I am obsessed!!

Today was good for other reasons too ... but nothing I'd admit in public!!

Bizarre .... the first Monday in such a long time that my only blog tags are Monday and Happy!!

Busy but totally fabulous!!!

I have had a GREAT day today!! This morning was spent finishing off (as much as we could!) of the surprise ... and ohhh, it turned out so much better than any of us thought! I can't WAIT to hear how the surprise goes! I just wish I could be there like a fly on the wall!!

I think the best bit for me was spending time with my sister. She and I have had quite a "difficult" relationship in the past, but we've been working on it and building a new relationship. The past couple of days we've really found a new kinship too and it's been wonderful!! She and her hub are moving closer in a few weeks and it will be really great to see her more often.

Aaaaanyway I still have like eleventy hundred things to do before I go to bed this evening .... so I'll keep this short and sweet! Mad Monday tomorrow and I will NEED my beauty sleep for that!!

A bloody fantastic day!!!

Today has been CRAZY and BUSY and I am totally exhausted! LOL It was WELL worth it though! I spent the day helping a special someone create a special something for another special someone!!! I can't say ANY more than that as I know at least one of those someones occasionally stops by my blog ... and if the other someone gets wind of what we've been up to ... well the special something won't be as much of a surprise!!!

I know ... that's totally beyond cryptic to anyone other than me and the two other people involved in creating this surprise ... but I promise there is photos and I will be able to reveal all in about oooh 3 weeks!! My lips are sealed and until the secret is revealled to the other person ... then I can't say a word!!!

GOSH it's so exciting!!! I LOVE being involved in other people's secrets!!!

All I can say is that I have had an absolutely BRILLIANT day and it's renewed my "mojo" I feel passionate, creative and - ack, just happy! It's been a great day!!