I'm not an alcoholic - I'm a drunk! Alcoholics go to meetings!!!

Just watched something interesting on TV called "Mummy Stop Drinking." I thought I'd watch it as it's pretty topical to the post I made this morning about how I should NEVER blog when I have been drinking!

It was definitely interesting. It followed three mums who were filmed by their kids about how much she was drinking. One of the women drank half a bottle of wine a day (in the evening) and SHE had a borderline dependance on alcohol! It made me think about how much *I* am drinking and it's definitely more than I should be!!

Apparently, for a woman it is okay units wise to have ONE glass of wine a night OR 2-3 glasses a couple of times a week.

Fuck I drink WAY more than that.

I've been talking to my girlfriends though and they all drink around the same amount I do, so either we are ALL alcoholics or there is something seriously wrong with the "recommended" amounts over the "realistic" ones!

I could easily put a bottle of wine a night away ... easily. I drink rose wine (white zinfandel which is actually pink! LOL) and it is SOOO easy to drink because it's refreshing and fruity. I probably drink 4 GOOD full up glasses of wine a night ... but I DO have nights where I choose consciously not to drink.

I think the fact that I have an awareness about my drinking habits and alcohol intake is a good thing! Alcohol doesn't currently interfere with my life in any way, and I don't EVER feel I need a drink in the mornings! It is something that is reserved purely for the evenings once the children are in bed. I think once it gets to the point where it is having an effect on your daily life and stopping you from getting things done ... THEN it is a problem!

Thing is ... are you capable of realising you have a problem BEFORE it becomes a problem?

I think I just need to make sure I have a couple of nights a week where I don't drink anything at all ... to prove a point! LOL nothing to do with overcompensating on the other five nights! HAH!

Okay, going to bed now! LOL It's gone midnight now and I am shattered!!!

I'm an awful person ...

In short .... (because I have been drinking and intend this to be a short blog entry but heck you never know with me!)

My show on Saturday was SHIT. It wasn't even worth getting out of bed for. The only thing that made it worth it was having Megan there to talk to! It really was a pile of crap. The ONLY lining in the cloud was that the table cost was 10& of sales! I showed the organiser my sales totals at the end of the day and I handed over £3.70. Yeah, it was THAT BAD!! Hardly anyone through the door!! I was so pissed off it was untrue!!!

On the upside, Sunday was Mothers Day and I did have a lovely wakeup when two children bounced on me around 7am with gifts!! Megan made me a lovely notebook holder covered in glitter (with a heart notepad) at Brownies, and Nathan made me a card and a photo frame at Beavers last week. It was truly lovely because their dad didn't have to take them out to BUY me something ... it was handmade from the heart :-D

I've had a bit of a sad and melancholy day today that I really can't blog about in public and part of that annoys the CRAP out of me! I know there are quite a few people who do read this blog regularly (yeah I know who all three of you are! LOL), and there are some things that I can't say in public.

All I can really say is that I reached a decision today that broke my heart to do. It's a purely personal thing and nothing to do with work (although I have been thinking about that too!) ... but this decision has been a long time coming. It's been really HARD for me recently as I have felt stuck between a rock and a hard place ... and today, although it cut me to the core and hurt me immensely ... I made the choice.

That's all I can say about it online really!

If you are one of the three people I have mentioned (my closest friends and I love you guys!) then you will know what I am talking about! The rest of you will just have to guess because my lips are sealed!

Meanwhile ... the conscious decision I made yesterday (Sunday eve) not to drink on a Mon, Tues or Weds eve flew straight out of the window tonight when hub brought home a box of wine after he'd walked the dog. I think he could just tell I needed it even though I couldn't honestly tell him why...

I wish I could go into more detail here because I am in the mood to waffle (yeah 4th glass of wine!) but I can't. I will say that the alcohol ended up being a very good idea because I am pretty numb right now.

And thank FUCK for spell check!!

I just feel bad for so many reasons right now. It's been a truly bad day - certainly the worst on record for at least a year!!

Ok, so mebbe that wasn't so short ... so sue me!

A blah Tuesday with a minor alcohol panic!

I had totally forgotten that when I was at the little show in Chichester a couple of weeks ago, a woman approached me and asked me if I'd like to do a small 2 hour event just up the road on 1st March ... which is this Saturday! DOH! I said I would be very up for it as it's Mothers day on Sunday so it's a good chance to sell people some "little extra bits!" LOL

Thankfully the organiser called me and asked me if I was still interested in going along or I would have forgotten all about it!! Needless to say I spent a good part of the day today (after I'd sent out some essential orders) making lots of mothers day appropriate stuff and a ton of flip flop candles!! These are really cute and I make them in all kinds of different colours. I've got them on sale on the website at the moment and I'll do a special price for them this weekend too! I'm also going to be making up gift sets with some of my leftover frosted gift bags and they will be £20 worth for £10... surprise bags but all with nice stuff in - a way to get rid of some CDs, some old floating candles & bits and pieces I have in the workshop that are PERFECT for mothers day! Fingers crossed for a good one - it's only two hours, but a lot can be sold in two hours, especially if I take my good luck Megan with me! Hehehe

Other than that it's been a bit of a blah day today ... well, compared to yesterday! I got chatting with my friend Lisa today before picking the kids up from school and we've arranged another girlie chat session on Thursday evening ... dangerous those as we totally pick the world to pieces! I NEEEED a girlie chat right now that even the happy pills can't mellow out! There is sooooo much going on inside my head it's dangerous.. and there IS stuff I can't write here in the public domain or I'd be arrested ... LOL okay well mebbe not arrested ... unless you can get arrested for thinking!! HAH!!

For example .... and I totally filched this image off the web. If it's yours I apologise for my filchiness, but it was so utterly fitting I had to grab it!

One of the things I've been worried about (that I CAN post in public!) is the amount I am drinking at the moment... but ALL of my girlfriends that I have talked to seem to drink around the same amount I do, so we're all either perfectly normal or raging alcoholic piss heads! LOL

Yeah let's not answer that question eh! LOL

Nah, in all seriousness I did some research online because I do find myself having a wee glass of wine or four most evenings now ... and I wanted to know if that is REALLY bad or just bad as in not good for me etc. Not good for me I can handle, but ending up an alcoholic? Naaaaahhhhh I've watched WAY too much Jeremy Kyle for that one!! HAHA ... okay I am joking again (Hmmm note to self - am doing that a LOT!)

Rosé wine is just SO drinkable and refreshing ... plus it's PINK! LOL! I gotta admit I'm a red wine gal out of choice, but I hate the ring it leaves around my lips in the morning and the baggy head it gives me! White wine has to be a GOOD white or it just tastes like frigging vinegar!! Sooooo Rosé is perfectly in the middle!!

Anyway, from what I read ... apparently although I do have a few glasses of wine most nights, I am not at risk (currently) of that changing to alcoholic level. I don't get up in the morning and think "must have a drink" ... I don't leave work early to come home and have a drink .... and don't ever drink during the day (except sometimes on weekends sometimes it's around 4-5ish! LOL) and "family life" isn't affected by alcohol ... well, except that sometimes you gotta stop off after dog walking to pick up more alcohol!

So anyway, it's only 9.30pm but my bed is calling me for an early night tonight!! Hopefully going out Friday night and it'll be an all nighter so I'd best get my beauty sleep now!!!

I found where the spare minutes hide!!!

Okay so anyone who reads my blog often enough will know that I often complain about how I am convinced there is some kind of time pixie out there that pinches minutes out of my day, because somehow I never seem to have enough time for everything!!



Well .... It SUDDENLY occurred to me that it's a leap year this year and it all made sense! There are 29 days in February this year which means there are a whole extra 1440 minutes at the end of this month that we wouldn't normally get if it wasn't a leap year! Feb 29th is a Friday this year too - soooo that's gonna be Dee's catch up day!! Whatever it is that REALLY needs to be done on Friday 29th Feb is what I will do! Whether it's catching up on things I am behind with at work, or doing the things around the house that really need doing (like re-painting EVERY single damned room in the house!) or clearing out the garden ... both of which NEED to be done soon!

Spring is coming so EARLY this year! The weather has been (dare I say it ...?) warm recently! Okay maybe WARM is an exaggeration, but it's definitely been open windows and not necessarily wear a coat type weather. You'd normally expect it to still be really cold at this time in February... yet there are already daffs and tulips out and they've been out a while already!

It's REALLY made me want to get out there and start doing something with the garden too. Last year was a bit of an experiment in the garden ... I grew herbs, red chillis, jalepeno chillis, cherry tomatoes and a few other bits, but it really was just an experiment. I know what I can be like and I'll throw myself into something then lose interest after a couple of weeks!! Soooo I hadn't wanted to spend too much money.

Also part of it is that I am GOOOOOOD at everything I do ... purely because I don't do things I am not good at!! Soooo I hadn't wanted to invest a lot of money into it ... but this year I am seeing TONS of cherry tomatoes, runner beans, aubergines and hopefully some soft fruits too!!!

I WANT a polytunnel!!

Ok I've been drinking while I've been writing the last part of this and now can;'t concentrate on the screen, so err time for bed said Zebedee!!!