I am so pissed off.............

Okay good stuff first then I'll get to my moan of the day!!

I have new labels! OMG they look sooooo fantastic! I should have taken my camera in to work with me today, but I forgot ... my bad - I'll take pics tomorrow! I had created a new design for the labels based on the new logo. I showed L ... who suggested I tweak it slightly by changing one little thing and all of a sudden they look properly "branded" rather than generic and "samey"

It's funny --- whenever I have new packaging, all of a sudden I love doing the "monkey work" .... hehehe I'm sure the novelty will wear off!

Okay so the moan.

I am so utterly pissed off at home right now. I'm working my proverbial backside off daily and I feel that I get very little support for it from hub. He claims to be supportive and will stand there and argue the toss with me about how he is being supportive ... but he isn't! His salary puts a roof over my head and food on the table ... but it doesn't mean that what I do isn't important!

I don't have the luxury of being able to leave early in the morning and finish at 5pm. I have to fit my working hours into the time that the children are at school, then I go back evenings and weekends if I have to. I am working my backside off to try to build the business back up. I've invested hours and hours of my time to build it into something for the future - for my future and for the kids.

Hub has been complaining about HIS LACK OF WEEKENDS!!! It makes me so angry. He expects it to be absolutely fine for me to just not go into work for an entire weekend and either have to fit more into less hours or fall behind with orders ... just so that HE can go and do HIS stuff.

How is that supportive???

The latest one??? AFTER we had already had an argument about how unimportant my work is and how he doesn't get time at weekends ... he told me he wanted to go out on Saturday 26th - some bike or canoe thing - I didn't really pay much attention to the "what" because I couldn't believe it - not only did he blatantly not listen to me earlier in the day about how I need the weekends ... the 26th is the weekend after his daughter's birthday ... the weekend I have got 3 of her friends coming over to all go to the cinema and then pizza and a sleepover! Yeah okay hub, what do I do with Nathan while you are off doing whatever it is you want to do while I am with our daughter and her friends?!?!!

Is that selfish of me? Am *I* being the selfish one? Should I just cause myself MORE stress and MORE worry by having to work harder and faster during the day while the children are at school just so that he can have a weekend to do whatever he wants to do??

On the upside I wore new shoes today - so at least the bad parts of the day had a bit of sparkle to them.

Ohh I did LOADS today!

Today has been a really good day! I was in the workshop this morning and got a ton of stock votives poured ready for the East Preston market on Wednesday. I made myself a list of the scents I wanted to take with me and got them ALL poured!

I spent the afternoon when I got back chilling in the garden with the kids - it was really nice and it was great to spend time with them. I forget sometimes what great little people they are!!

Megan is growing up TOOOOOO fast these days - it scares me! One of her classmates has already started her periods, and knowing that my daughter and her friends are that developed ... woah it's scary stuff for a mother!

And Mr Nathan ... well it was a surprise to see him actually EATING ... let alone eating a chicken wing - AND thoroughly enjoying it too!!

Yeah ... a good weekend!!!

Yeah baby!!!

Well the hard work I have been putting in has paid off! The website is finally back in the top half of google! I could always rely on coming up at least 3rd for my key word search terms, and when the site disappeared off of google completely after the web host nightmare ... well .... let's just say I was panicking!!

Yesterday evening I found I was back on the first page, but when I checked this evening (after more work put in!) and found I was 4th in google ... well happy dance wasn't the word! I've worked my proverbial backside off to get the site back up there and I am soooo relieved it's been worth it!!

I am literally physically exhausted though! I spend every waking minute either number crunching, buried in the website, designing the new catalogue or working in some form or other and the lack of sleep has taken it's toll on me! On the upside, so many people have noticed how positive I have been lately and that's been great.

I still owe most of it to L! Without L around to kick my proverbial backside, well I dread to think where I would be!

Anyway, it's late - I'm knackered and still have the summer 08 catalogue to finish before bed!

The worst craft show on record!!!

I was up mega early this morning to make sure that I was in Climping (Nr Littlehampton) for 9am ready to unload my stock and set up for the 2 day show. One thing that's always nice about shows & events is when you find yourself with nice neighbours on the next stalls ... and well, had it not been for conversation with the other stallholders I would have been even MORE bored than I already was!

It actually seriously was my worst show on record - EVER! I made just about enough to *barely* cover the cost of the table for the day - and that doesn't count the cups of coffee I bought, petrol, my time ... my TIME! I spent 8 hours there today and there was barely anybody through the doors. It was so soul destroying!! The problem on days when it's like that at shows - is that by the time it gets to half way through the day and you still haven't made any serious sales ... is that you really can't be "bothered" then to really put in the sales pitch when people do approach your table! You figure that they aren't going to buy anyway so you may as well save your back and sit down!!

*sigh*

Well anyway I went into the workshop this evening and I'm taking some different stock with me tomorrow. We'll see how that goes! In the meantime I am SHATTERED! The website STILL isn't online so I'll have to phone the new host on Monday morning as their tech support isn't open on weekends GRRRR ... still, by the time it DOES get online it will be ready - I'll make damned sure of that!! I worked late through the night last night on it ... I'll give it a bit longer this evening on it before I hit the sack, then as soon as I am home from the show on Sunday I'll be cracking on with it again!

Ohh and once that's done it's back to number crunching!

It's never ending ... but I'm happy! Ok a little depressed about the crappy day today, but I actually do feel focused and positive - and THAT is what it is all about!

Grinning like only Dee can grin :-p

Ohhh what a GREAT day! LOL I just love it when I can start a post like that!

I'm still very much bobbing to keep my head above water (and the website is going to be down till the middle of next week) ... BUT it's all looking up and that is (partly!) why I have a grin on my face this evening! I also had a cash sale today, so that added to what I took last night will get paid into the bank on Monday. I've got a booking Thursday night in a pub in Ashington for a ladies night, and then next weekend is a 2 days event near Arundel.

So aaanyway yes it was an utterly delicious afternoon! The sun was shining, I got LOADS done at work ... and even managed a fair few unexpected things too *wicked grin*

This evening I HAVE to get to grips and make a final decision on the layout for the redesigned website, so that once we are finally back online - it's all ready to go!! The utterly worst thing would be to have the site fixed ... but no content to upload because I'm certainly not going to put the old site back up when I'm so close on a new version! LOL

Aaaaanyway the longer I sit here procrastinating about it - the less time I have to do it! LOL

Heading towards the wee small hours & still working ...

Okay so I managed to somehow screw up my website last night! I was trying to create a custom 404 page, tried uploading a .htaccess file to the server and it was probably a combination of too much wine and uploading it to the wrong folder ... but whatever I did ... I've managed to take my whole site out! I phoned my tech support but there is nothing they can do until Monday ... not good!!

It's technically Monday morning now, but as far as my body clock goes it's still Sunday night as I haven't gone to bed yet. Last night I ended up being up until around 2.30am and I reckon tonight is heading the same way too! I've been working on a redraft of my website based on some opinions I was given by trusted people ....

• The whole design needs to suggest "lifestyle" more (which is what I've known for a while.) It needs to be fresher and more modern/up to date.
• The photography has also needed updating for a while to show customer that my candles are absolutely essential to the lifestyle that they want to achieve!!
• The photo of my father needs to be removed (he died in 2003) and although he's still a big part of me ... it's not relevant to the business anymore. I need to move on.

So that's kind of what I've been doing... and I am really pleased with the results. It's almost been a blessing that the website has been offline, because by the time the engineers have sorted it on Monday .... I'll hopefully have a brand new site to load!!

My shitty weekend

Stop the world, I WANT TO GET OFF.

I have worked SO hard and stressed SO much over the last few days and worked myself to the bone. I have completely exhausted myself mentally and physically, and it just feels like it is all for nothing. I've been feeling very unwell - dizzy spells and weird tingly feelings all over my body, and sooooooo tired. The fact that I didn't crash my car driving home from the show today was just a bloody miracle.

The photo taking in Chichester yesterday ended up as a total non event. We started a bit of a walk round, but A is suffering at the moment with a really bad back and he was very obviously in pain .... so we found a pub and had a few drinks while we waited for hub & F to come back. I won't say that I wasn't *slightly* annoyed (okay that's an understatement - I was very annoyed) because I had to go through SO much to get everything done for the show in time to go out for the afternoon. Then, I feel bad for feeling that because it wasn't A's fault - he was well up for it ... just in pain.

Still ... in the grand scheme of things it didn't help my stress levels with wasted time that I could have been working. THEN on top of it all, hub and I had a huge massive fight last night. I don't remember what time I finally fell asleep ... but it was late.

I then had to get up really early this morning and left for the show at Fontwell Racecourse in plenty of time. Megan was with me and I swear had it not been for her in the car then I probably would have lost it totally. I couldn't find the turnoff for it! How crazy is that? I've driven past it like a gazillion times ... but the entrance that I thought was the entrance - well, it wasn't!! I ended up going in completely the wrong direction and having to drive for ages to find a roundabout to get back the other way. It ended up taking forever. I felt my stress levels rising higher and higher until I was in floods of tears in the car!

I am angry with myself for allowing that to happen in front of Megan. It's not exactly the first time she's witnessed a meltdown, but I should have held it together better. I didn't show her a very good example of coping... We finally got there with just a few minutes until it opened so it was mega-speedy unpacking the stock and getting it all set up.

The final pisser? It was a really dreadful show and I only just really covered costs. There were hardly any people through the door - it was sooooo quiet. I can stand there smiling for 6 hours when it's worth it ... but standing there for 6 hours when it's deader than a dodo ... when I'm already feeling dizzy and unwell was not good. Megan kept me together though ... hehee she said it wasn't a bad day because we did make some money and we got free cake! Bless her.

Still ... it makes me continue to question WTF I am actually doing? If I am getting so wound up and so stressed all because of work ... is it REALLY worth it? This weekend - in fact the past few days have been so full on and nonstop and it just feels like it's all for nothing.I want to achieve my dream and get a shop because I know damned well I have a great product ... but I don't know how much more of this I can take.

I melted faster than my wax today!

The workshop was like an oven today! As soon as I opened the door I felt the wave of heat come over me and my thermometer showed it was 26° INDOORS! It wasn't so much that it was warm (although it was definitely that!) there was just no air circulation. I had all the windows open and the air conditioning going, but OMG I could hardly breathe in there! Goodness knows what it will be like come the summer!


After my semi-naked candlemaking from a couple of days ago, I stripped off as soon as I got in there today!



It's becoming quite a habit working in a pair of 3/4 trousers and my bra! It's all well and good when I'm there on my own on the weekends with the door locked ... but during the working week with staff, customers popping in and out and deliveries etc it's not exactly errr suitable work attire!!


I'm going to have to get some dungaree shorts or something like that because UGH it's not even summer yet! I remember a couple of years ago when business was better and I had permanent staff ... when it got THAT hot we took a bunch of votives, bags, wicks and labels and did all of the packaging sat on the grass outside! LOL

I need some serious big ass air conditioning units in there!!!

Busy but totally fabulous!!!

I have had a GREAT day today!! This morning was spent finishing off (as much as we could!) of the surprise ... and ohhh, it turned out so much better than any of us thought! I can't WAIT to hear how the surprise goes! I just wish I could be there like a fly on the wall!!

I think the best bit for me was spending time with my sister. She and I have had quite a "difficult" relationship in the past, but we've been working on it and building a new relationship. The past couple of days we've really found a new kinship too and it's been wonderful!! She and her hub are moving closer in a few weeks and it will be really great to see her more often.

Aaaaanyway I still have like eleventy hundred things to do before I go to bed this evening .... so I'll keep this short and sweet! Mad Monday tomorrow and I will NEED my beauty sleep for that!!

A bloody fantastic day!!!

Today has been CRAZY and BUSY and I am totally exhausted! LOL It was WELL worth it though! I spent the day helping a special someone create a special something for another special someone!!! I can't say ANY more than that as I know at least one of those someones occasionally stops by my blog ... and if the other someone gets wind of what we've been up to ... well the special something won't be as much of a surprise!!!

I know ... that's totally beyond cryptic to anyone other than me and the two other people involved in creating this surprise ... but I promise there is photos and I will be able to reveal all in about oooh 3 weeks!! My lips are sealed and until the secret is revealled to the other person ... then I can't say a word!!!

GOSH it's so exciting!!! I LOVE being involved in other people's secrets!!!

All I can say is that I have had an absolutely BRILLIANT day and it's renewed my "mojo" I feel passionate, creative and - ack, just happy! It's been a great day!!

Ooopsie!!

Well the days kinda got away from me! It's Saturday night already! Well where do I start!

I have got a LOT done over the last couple of days at work and I plan on working Easter Sunday as well as the bank holiday monday and taking full advantage of hub while he is off work!! I am desperate to get things back on an even keel so that orders are literally going out within a couple of days ... then I have to start seriously thinking about working on generating new business.

In the meantime I've been writing! Nothing huge to report except the end of chapter two! LOL Ohh well that and my baby tomato plants have thrip and I have to go nuclear on bug warfare ... but on the upside the lettuces are doing brilliantly!!!

Well thank fook it's Friday!!!

Gawd I have had a running around lots day today! I realised last night that I had kinda fried my mobile charger lead! I plug it in behind the toaster, and the heat from the toaster had melted the lead! Ooops! So with one blob of battery left, I switched my phone off overnight and went into Worthing this morning to pick up a new one!

I went into Phones 4 U for the charger and got chatting to the woman behind the desk about my phone tarrif ... she called me back a bit later and has offered me a really great deal where they buy out my existing vodaphone contract so it won't cost me anything to move over! I will get free unlimited texts and 750 minutes a month for the same price I was paying before. Chuffed or what! I have to go into Worthing tomorrow morning to set it all up, but that's well worth it!!

So anyway, I pop into a fabby "girlie" shop called "Dollywood" on the way through to get a new nose stud (as I'd lost mine a few days ago) then drove back to work, went to plug my phone charger in ... and realised I'd left it in the shop! GRRRR LOL so after a drive BACK to Worthing and back to work, I finally got my phone charging!!

I did get loads done at work today though so that was worth it! I'll be there all over this weekend too ... I have sooooooooo much to do but busy is good! I want to catch up on the last couple of delayed orders and get everything out mega quick from now on, especially if T is going to be helping me out again regularly!

I'm also working on a redesign of the wholesale site to make it completely different from the retail site ... it's getting there! I started it yesterday and I have just about got the index page sorted - I have to get that almost perfect as I use it as a template for the rest of the pages! LOL

I love Friday evenings ... chillin' in my PJs, slippers and dressing gown with a glass of wine!!

A perfect Saturday Morning

I had such a nice start to my day today! I had no immediate hurry to get out of bed as I hadn't planned on going to work until late morning. The kids didn't have anywhere to be either, so I got to wake up peacefully by myself!! Ohh heaven!!

Once I'd unearthed myself from the true comfort and bliss that is a body form mattress (seriously, you HAVE to get one!!) and come downstairs, I felt ... well, content I guess!!!

I sat on the sofa with my laptop and a pot of coffee knowing that I had a solid list of things to do, but none of them needed to be done right then. I was listening to music on Last FM … and just chilling out to some really good music before going to pour candles for the rest of the day.

It occurred to me that my life was actually perfect for that brief moment!!

Sadly life is never perfect for that long ... and true enough, my peace & quiet was soon shattered! LOL

BUT on the upside, the weather today has been unreal for the start of February. I'm not sure what the temp was, but it actually felt WARM out there. It's a sure fire sign that Spring is coming soon!!

New site is live!!

Wooohoo!!! In less than a week I managed to come up with the idea, design and build the site and it tis done!

www.deestapleton.co.uk is officially launched!!!

This is the biz card I've designed - it's a low quality image as it's a screen print from my software, but I LOVE it and think it totally sums me up!!


Coooooooooooooooool huh!! Sometimes I am so good I surprise myself! hahahaaaa

Swimming and Mr Rude who nearly ruined my day

I'd promised the kids that they could have a treat this weekend as they'd been really good and they chose swimming. We always go to The Triangle in Burgess Hill ... although it's further away than our local one, it's so much better and we always have more fun. I invited my mum to come along too - she'd had a steroid injection in her leg on Friday so the gentle exercise in the pool was perfect for her!

So there we are stood there in the queue to pay. Megan starts talking about the fact that I had put her hair in plaits and I said that it was because of going swimming and it would be easier to brush afterwards. I pointed to my own hair and said "I didn't even bother brushing mine today because of swimming" .... a perfectly normal mother/daughter conversation ... well you'd think, but apparently the bloke in front of us in the queue (who had 2 children of his own with him) didn't think so. He completely butted into our conversation and said to me "yeah love I think we can ALL see that." I was bubbling over inside and positively seething, but instead I gritted my teeth, decided not to make a public show of myself and said nothing. BUT THEN he grinned to himself and said "yeah umm the words hedge, dragged and backwards come to mind."

OMG HOW ANGRY WAS I????? This bloke who I had never met before in my life is standing there INSULTING me in front of my children (and his too). I was so tempted. SO tempted to just swing one at him. I didn't .... but that doesn't mean I wasn't VERY VERY tempted. I simply stood there and said absolutely nothing.

Now I need to point out here that my hair WAS brushed but I hadn't exactly spent half an hour with my GHD straighteners before going swimming!! I hadn't applied perfect makeup - in fact I wasn't wearing a scrap of makeup - not even waterproof mascara because I was going SWIMMING!! Okay I wasn't wearing my best clothes and high heels either - I was wearing a pair of black boot leg trousers and a plain black t-shirt with my trainers (easy to pull on and off while also trying to dress small children in a changing cubicle!) but I looked reasonable!!! In no way did I look like a piece of **** that had been dragged through a hedge backwards and in no way did he have the right to speak to me like that!!

Megan could see that I was extremely upset at this point and she'd watched the whole thing happening. She asked me if I was okay and I replied (loud enough for the bloke to hear) that no I wasn't really okay because I didn't like people who were so rude and I simply turned my back on him. Enormous brownie points to me for doing the right thing!! I was still seething inside and although I SO wanted to say/do something, I was determined not to turn it into a massive public spectacle in front of my children!

A bit later in the pool I spotted Mr Rude and pointed him out to Megan. I'd said to her that I'd wanted to thump him because he'd really hurt my feelings and upset me but that it would have been the wrong thing to do. I also said to her that he really wasn't setting a very good example to his children by the way he was so rude to someone in front of them.

Anyway we all have a nice splashing time in the pool, round the rapids and sliding down the flumes until my mum sidles up to me and said "Ummm Megan just poked Mr Rude!" I burst out laughing!! She did what?! I went and found her and apparently she gave him a nice sharp dig in the ribs under the water then swam off and he hadn't known it was her. I asked her why she did it - her answer was "I felt like it!" I told her that she really shouldn't have done it and she said she did it because he was nasty to me. Bless her little heart. I didn't make a big deal of it because of the circumstances around it and I did talk to her about it again later, but I had to smile. Apparently it was a nice elbow in the ribs!!