A funeral, a 6 hour drive and a new melter! YEAH!

Well finally I am getting somewhere! When my melter packed up and died last night it was all I could do to not wallow in self pity because it's been the way things have gone recently!! It's seemed that no matter how many steps forward I've taken, I've ended up behind even more!

It seriously had me questioning whether it is all worth it because it really is just one thing after another and for a nano-second I considered shutting it all down!!! How can a candlemaker make candles and get ready for two market days with no wax melter? LOL

Anyway after some late night surfing and research last night, I tracked down a local bee farm and they had the melter I use in stock! YEAH! Soooo this morning, on the way to Wiltshire for my Uncle Bill's funeral, I drove 20 mins out of the way to pick up the melter. It cost more than one I could have bought online and had delivered, but I was able to get it TODAY and that makes a huge difference! I'll take time over money any day!!

The funeral went okay ... the weird part was being in a room full of family and not knowing half all their names. The last time we all met up was at the last family funeral. In a morbid sense it made me wonder who would be next. The last funeral was my uncle Ashley and before that it was my dad.

Anyway, after I got back to the workshop and plugged in the melter I had a big smile on my face!!!

FINALLY I have ... (in no particular order!!)

• A working phone line
• A dead PC but a laptop that can be used instead
• Working broadband and an internet connection
• A functional wax melter
• No excuses not to be working!!!

It feels good! It feels goooooooooooood!! God I am so short on time that I couldn't have managed if I hadn't got hold of a melter today! Tomorrow I have Megan's friends coming over for a girlie day and a cinema trip plus a sleepover so I won't be able to work ... that literally leaves Sunday to do EVERYTHING!!

Ugh! LOL

OMG BUSY!!!!!!

The last few days have officially all rolled in to one! Today has been a day from hell but it's too late at night and I am too tired to get into it right now - it'll have to wait! UGH I am busy, stressed and there is too much to do and not enough time to do it all...

Plus my wax melter died ... yeah don't ask!

Do I need to make more adjustments?

A commenter on my blog suggested that perhaps I need to learn how to make adjustments with my family so that I didn't find myself so stressed and burned out. I have to say ... it's always easy to make suggestions from the outside, and anyone looking in would see it as an obvious thing, but life just isn't that simple!

I have already adapted and made a LOT of changes to my life to fit a good work / life balance ... and truthfully yes, the life half HAS been slipping lately as I have been focussed on work, but I still make sure that I spend quality time with the children every day and that's what it is all about - in my opinion anyway!

I AM working a lot of hours at the moment, and during the school summer holidays it will be worse because I'll have the children during the day and ONLY be able to work evenings and weekends (aside from Wednesdays at the market), but I'm also doing this for them! They want to have nice things, they want the latest this and that - and because they ARE good kids (most of the time!!) I'd love to be able to treat them and reward them more often.

Yes I know, it's not about money and materialistic posessions - it's about growing up in a safe and loved environment ... but c'mon, when all your friends have really cool clothes and you are wearing school trousers that are too short and tops that don't fit you anymore - then the materialistic stuff DOES matter.

I've felt ashamed and embarrassed some days when I've sent the kids off to school because their uniforms have needed replacing for so long and there just hasn't been the money for it. Both of them have so few clothes in their wardrobes that fit properly and let's not get started on the shoes that are falling to pieces!!

THIS is why I do it. This is why I work hard! It's so I can turn around a flagging business, bring it right up to exactly where it needs to be and for my kids to have the benefit of it!!

School report day & Proud Mama!

BOTH my fantastic kids got great school reports today! I knew Megan had done well this year, but it was so good to see it in print. Her teacher's quote was that Megan had "worked her socks off!" I'm so proud of that girl! She has never been strong at maths but she is *improving* and as far as I am concerned she's doing just brilliantly!

Nathan's report really surprised the crap out of me!! His teacher commented on how his concentration and focus have really improved over the year ... and last year's report was full of "variable" for his effort - intersperted with the very odd "good!" This year it was ALL good with a VERY good in there for design technology! I nearly cried as I was reading it! He's done so well.

They have BOTH done so well. It makes me really proud!!!

Anyway, it's nearly 10pm on Tuesday evening ... I have JUST finished all of the re-labelling of the stock ready for market tomorrow. It had BETTER be a good day ... if it isn't then I don't even want to think about where I will be. I need to make money this week!

I haven't done even half the things I wanted to achieve this evening ... and I still need to shower - the thought of a 5am shower is NOT a good one!

I did get pics of the new labels ... but again it will have to wait ... I could waffle on here all night but it won't get my work done or me showered! LOL

REALLY pissed off

Have a huge major vent to make about my landlord at work, but for now I'm knackered and need some sleep after a long day. I do have new piccies of the new labels but it will have to wait until tomorrow!!!

I am so pissed off.............

Okay good stuff first then I'll get to my moan of the day!!

I have new labels! OMG they look sooooo fantastic! I should have taken my camera in to work with me today, but I forgot ... my bad - I'll take pics tomorrow! I had created a new design for the labels based on the new logo. I showed L ... who suggested I tweak it slightly by changing one little thing and all of a sudden they look properly "branded" rather than generic and "samey"

It's funny --- whenever I have new packaging, all of a sudden I love doing the "monkey work" .... hehehe I'm sure the novelty will wear off!

Okay so the moan.

I am so utterly pissed off at home right now. I'm working my proverbial backside off daily and I feel that I get very little support for it from hub. He claims to be supportive and will stand there and argue the toss with me about how he is being supportive ... but he isn't! His salary puts a roof over my head and food on the table ... but it doesn't mean that what I do isn't important!

I don't have the luxury of being able to leave early in the morning and finish at 5pm. I have to fit my working hours into the time that the children are at school, then I go back evenings and weekends if I have to. I am working my backside off to try to build the business back up. I've invested hours and hours of my time to build it into something for the future - for my future and for the kids.

Hub has been complaining about HIS LACK OF WEEKENDS!!! It makes me so angry. He expects it to be absolutely fine for me to just not go into work for an entire weekend and either have to fit more into less hours or fall behind with orders ... just so that HE can go and do HIS stuff.

How is that supportive???

The latest one??? AFTER we had already had an argument about how unimportant my work is and how he doesn't get time at weekends ... he told me he wanted to go out on Saturday 26th - some bike or canoe thing - I didn't really pay much attention to the "what" because I couldn't believe it - not only did he blatantly not listen to me earlier in the day about how I need the weekends ... the 26th is the weekend after his daughter's birthday ... the weekend I have got 3 of her friends coming over to all go to the cinema and then pizza and a sleepover! Yeah okay hub, what do I do with Nathan while you are off doing whatever it is you want to do while I am with our daughter and her friends?!?!!

Is that selfish of me? Am *I* being the selfish one? Should I just cause myself MORE stress and MORE worry by having to work harder and faster during the day while the children are at school just so that he can have a weekend to do whatever he wants to do??

On the upside I wore new shoes today - so at least the bad parts of the day had a bit of sparkle to them.

Hangover is not the word!!!!

Yesterday was great fun!! I went over to Lou's straight after work to take photos of her daughter (R, who is 16) before she went off to her prom! Ohh she looked beautiful - well, all of the girls did ... and it scared me looking at how grown up they all looked because it forced me to think about how that will be me sending Megan off to her prom one day!

Anyway, after we'd seen Ria off, we went for a few drinks in Brighton, then found a nice place to have a meal, then back to Lou's where we indulged in several bottles of wine and put the world to rights before finally dragging ourselves to bed at 4.30am!!

Oooops .... needless to say I woke up feeling decidedly squiffy this morning but as it was self inflicted I couldn't give myself any sympathy so I hauled arse into work to do some packing!

I am definitely DEFINITELY aiming to do the market next week. I've finally found somewhere that I can get the perfect size tables from too! I'd been in a bit of a flap because I'd found tables half the size I wanted from Argos and figured I'd just get two of them ... but UGH they were out of stock, and the closest other stores didn't have them either! If I don't have tables, I don't have a stall! Anyway, a flash of inspiration this evening and I've found them at B&Q plus checked stock and they have them...

Happy bunny!

So anyway, an early night tonight sans alcohol fresh for tomorrow - a full day at work to get as much as possible done!!

All missions achieved!

God I love it when I can get to the end of a day and think yeah - I achieved all of my missions today! I have made a lot of stock votives & packaged most of them ready for East Preston on Wednesday ... and all of the orders that came in over the weekend have been poured / packed & boxed!

It's all good!!

I have an appointment with a solicitor tomorrow to get legal advice on a "business" issue that I have. I don't want to go into too much detail in a public post, except to say I am being charged quite a large amount of money for a service that I have not received. There has been some back and forth discussion between myself and the other party via email, but before I reply - I need legal advice. This is an amount of over £500 that I am being charged per quarter ... and if it isn't illegal to charge someone for this, then it should be! I spoke to a solicitor over the phone today and it's a free initial consultation ... so I'll get the advice I need ... reply to their email and if I don't get the response I expect (ie they will deduct the amount I am disputing) then the solicitor will send a letter and war will begin!!

Anyway that's about all I can say in public on the subject!

My priorities right now??

** Sort out this £500 bill - either through my own battle or a legal one!
** Keep working on the accounts (getting through it a bit every day)
** Make a butt load of money!

Simple eh!

Ohh I did LOADS today!

Today has been a really good day! I was in the workshop this morning and got a ton of stock votives poured ready for the East Preston market on Wednesday. I made myself a list of the scents I wanted to take with me and got them ALL poured!

I spent the afternoon when I got back chilling in the garden with the kids - it was really nice and it was great to spend time with them. I forget sometimes what great little people they are!!

Megan is growing up TOOOOOO fast these days - it scares me! One of her classmates has already started her periods, and knowing that my daughter and her friends are that developed ... woah it's scary stuff for a mother!

And Mr Nathan ... well it was a surprise to see him actually EATING ... let alone eating a chicken wing - AND thoroughly enjoying it too!!

Yeah ... a good weekend!!!

Keeping fingers firmly crossed!!

Well ....... it hasn't exactly been a fabulous week for sales totals, but I'm safe in the knowledge that last week was REALLY good, so as long as next week works out okay then we'll be just fine :-)

Talking of next week, it's my first time at the East Preston monthly market on Wednesday next week and I am really looking forward to it. This will be a regular slot the first Wednesday of every month and it's already an established market so I'll be able to build up a regular clientele. I still want something at least weekly to guarantee me sales if the website is slow ... but we're working on that (the Royal "we" that is LOL)

Meanwhile tonight I've had a night off from number crunching and I've been working on designing a poster to promote candle parties to put up in shop windows around the local area. I'm really pleased with how it turned out ... it's looking gooooooood!! I'll get a few printed off tomorrow and then drop some off in town over the weekend. I hate not being mega busy with orders! I never really truly know what to do with myself!

Next Friday night will be fun though ... I'm going over to Lou's as it is her daughter's prom night and I'll be taking photos of her daughter getting ready and the all dressed up on the night. I can't WAIT! I'm soooo looking forward to it because a) I haven't done anything "fun" with my camera since my 25 smiles project ... and b) it's been aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages since Lou & I did anything and we'll have a damned good night chatting and putting the world to rights!

Soooooooooo anyway I've drunk a lil too much and am in danger of waffling on about things that really shouldn't be said in public, so it's time to say goodnight! LOL

Dreams & a lack of periods (not related!!)

I spent the best part of the morning number crunching on the accounts, then I went into work for a bit to send out some orders and then spent the afternoon with L talking about dreams for the future for the business and L's dreams of moving abroad in the future! Afternoons like that are the best ever ... just chatting & chilling out with a really good friend and feeling positive & happy!

I have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many dreams and ideas .... so many things that I want to achieve for myself with the business, and L is terrific for brain storming! It was one of the few times I was sat there without my laptop and L just kept churning out idea after idea! I had to actually *shock horror* write the ideas down by hand! It was terrific!!

I like afternoons like that!!

Soooooo anyway, mega swift subject change ... I have no fucking idea what is going on with my periods at the moment! I had two very close together a while back, and then there has been nothing for ages. I decided to stay off the pill because err, well there isn't much need to be taking it at the moment *ahem - moving swiftly on* ... so anyway I stopped taking it in the hope that it would help to sort things out ... but it's been nada, nothing & zilch for weeks now.

I have had a really REALLY bad backache for days now ... I'd put it down to the way I have been hunched over my laptop number crunching - but it is actually really really hurting. I'm wondering now whether it's a sign of a killer period incoming!

An insignificant Tuesday!

It's always a good place to be in when a day is relatively unventful!

All of the orders are either out or on their way out today and it's a really good position to be in. Although it really did screw me up having the website down for those two weeks, and I potentially lost a phenomenal amount of business ... it has kind of been a round about benefit too because it gave me the opportunity to really get things caught up and completely up to date, and as a result, as orders have been coming in - they've been turned around and sent out within a couple of days. There is nothing in the workshop over 24 hours old now and that's great!

*** Happy Dee ***

A great weekend ....

I've worked a LOT but it's actually been a nice relaxing weekend ... ie I've not been at a show! I've been in the workshop both days and it's almost good in a way that the site went offline for a while because it meant I was able to completely catch up on EVERYTHING without anything new coming in. It's also meant that as the new orders have come in this week since the site has been back online ... well I've been getting them poured and dispatched within 48 hours which is terrific as far as me AND my customers are concerned!!

It's a huge relief ... things seem to be going okay and I almost didn't want to say that out loud incase it jinxes it somehow! (touching very large bit of wood!) I'm back to 8th/9th in Google for my keyword searches at the moment instead of the 4th place I found myself last night, but it is still all good and I'm not that worried. I've done a lot of "tweaking" over the last couple of days on the website and hopefully won't be too long until the search engines pick up my changes!

Soooo currently tomorrow I will be packing up the orders that came in over the weekend (cus baby they are ALL done!) and then if nothing new is in overnight ... I have a "to do" list the size of ... well it's pretty big! LOL

OMG I'm a bad person ... I'm SORRY!!!!!

But OMG what a week!!!!

Seriously I've had the most amazing week and I've worked my ass off ... which is the ONLY reason I haven't blogged for 4 days ... oooooops!!! Jeeeez, I actually can't remember the last time I left it that long before blogging!

But look .... this is what I have been doing!!! LOL

I am sooooooooooooooooooo pleased with it! Check it out in all it's pinkness at http://www.deelights.co.uk

It's been a weird week!! L has helped me enormously with some proverbial butt kicking which has really motivated me into getting things done!

I've been drinking a lil bit this evening (yeah Dee had a night off!) so I can't promise how much I'll actually get written ... but I will try!!

L helped me to work out exactly how much I need to make per week to cover the overheads that the business has and that has been a really good figure to work out. Can you believe I actually didn't know that number before?? It's crazy. The best thing is that based on the highest outgoing figure (which doesn't take into account the savings I am working on making at the moment) ... I have covered what we need to make this week - plus I am up on next week.

Considering that until TODAY the website wasn't listed in google for my key search term "scented candles" ... that's been phenomenal!!

You should have seen me earlier when I did a google search and found myself on the first page of google! YEAH baby!! I've spent the last few nights tweaking the website and working on optimising it for the search engines and it is such a relief that it has paid off! I literally ... LITERALLY did a happy dance around my front room to such an extent that my 8 year old son told me off for swearing!!!!!!!

Ooooops!

Wellllllll it was a huge thing!! After the site being offline for 2 weeks, then not being listed in google as the spiders had been out ... and obviously my hard work over the last few days has really paid off!

*still doing the happy candlemaker dance*

Seriously ... the happy candlemaker dance is something to be seen - it really is! Maybe one day I'll get someone to video me doing it! LOL

So anyway ... tonight I've been feeling really positive and it's been GREAT! I'm exhausted - completely and utterly, but I'm happy and loving the fact that it's Friday night and I don't need to get up early!!

I was asked an interesting question by a candlemaking friend in Ireland on MSN tonight. He is a hobbyist and at the point where he is almost ready to start as a business. It was an interesting chat because he's a fellow candlemaker, yet he's not technically competition as he makes carved candles PLUS he's in Ireland!

Anyway ... he asked me what it would really take to make me happy (this is after 3 hours of MSN chatting!) and it really caused me to stop and think.

What do I want/need to make me happy?

I want to be "comfortable". That's all! Yeah it would be great to be rich but lets face it, that is a pipe dream for most of us!! Comfortable to me means knowing that all of the bills are paid and that if I happen to see a pair of shoes tha I "must have" ... that I can buy them and not worry about whether I can afford them! Call me superficial & shallow because I want to live in a nice house and have nice things around me - the pinker & sparklier the better!! Does that make me a bad person? I don't exactly want to live in a Swarovski encrusted world, but a lil more glitter & sparkle never hurt!!

I want my kids to grow up knowing they are loved and for them to feel secure & happy. I want them to grow into confident adults ready to take on the world no matter what challenges are thrown at them. I want to be their mother and their friend at the same time and to never lose touch with who they are as individuals.

Good friends. This is vital. I need my close friends - they are the ones that keep me sane through the dark times!

I want my business to succeed and to finally turn a profit enough for me to draw a serious wage and be able to achieve all of my other dreams without bleeding the business account dry and stabbing my own self in the foot!

I want to come home at the end of a long and hard day & snuggle up in the arms of a man who loves me more than anything, thinks I am a complete and utter goddess and who will succumb to my every whim!

Is that really too much to ask for??

Trust me there's a lot more I would love to add to that wish list .... but that's what it will take before I am truly happy.

The website is back!!!!

FINALLY!!!! I phoned the new host first thing this morning and within minutes, the site was up! It will take a while before the search engines pick it up again, but meanwhile I plan on doing letterbox drops, direct marketing and really pulling out as many of the stops as I possibly can!

I'm really pleased with how it turned out! L helped me make some tweaky changes to it earlier and the logo / branding has come out brilliantly.

I've also already had an order from the site - from a regular customer, so at least that's some pennies today with the first day being back online!!

Gawd I am sooooooooooooo utterly knackered! I really am. I didn't post last night after getting back from the show because a) it was another crappy day and I just about covered costs, and b) I was physically and mentally exhausted!!!

I still have so much work to do before I can think about sleep tonight though!!

www.deelights.co.uk - any comments on the site design welcome!

The best Friday the 13th EVER!!!!

OMG it turned out to be such a wicked day in the end!! I had a meeting with my bank manager this morning and it went very well. The whole purpose of the meeting was an annual business review, but we talked about my cash flow problems and ways to resolve them ... and she waived my bank charges for this month and also increased my overdraft for a month to cover all of the direct debits due to go out. This means that during the period that the website has been down and I have zero coming in from WorldPay (which is paid to me 28 days after processing) ... I don't have to worry about the bank outgoings. That's a huge relief.

She offered me a business credit card - and I said no! I was proud of myself!! I was sitting there thinking hmmm it would be a nice easy way out RIGHT NOW - I could order a load of fragrances and a butt load of wax, but it wouldn't help in a months time when the payment was due in full!! Sooo instead I'll be getting a debit card which will help enormously and save me having to give my mum cash and borrow her card!!

THEN .... completely out of the blue this afternoon ... my wonderful friend L lent me the money to get the website back online AND pay the set up fee for NetBanx so that the cash flow issue won't BE an issue as NetBanx clear the funds to my account within 7 days instead of 28! NetBanx will take a couple of weeks to set up, but it means that when I hit the period where I have naff all coming in from WorldPay ... it will only be a week until the NetBanx payments come in and I can suffer through a week!!

It's just been such an amazing day, and to think, this morning I was ready to vent! Sitting here right now I can't even remember what I was going to vent about! Hehehee Ahhh it's just nice to have a smile on my face and feel positive! Where would I be without my close friends!

Part of what has been so amazing is L's complete and utter belief in me. It means a lot to know that there is someone outside of my immediate family who cares enough about me and believes enough in me, my products and my potential to achieve more in the future ... to hand over a wad of cash to help me out!! That shows a lot of trust and it means a lot.

Holy Crapoly it's Thursday already?

Ya know ... on Tuesday afternoon I was thinking about how slowly the week was going by - then I realise this morning that somehow the week has caught up with me and it's Thursday already!!

The last couple of days have flown by - hence why I forgot to blog because the days somehow squished themselves into one recently! The basic rundown is that the website is STILL offline but the re-vamped version ready to launch when the site is back up ... is looking better than ever. I've also been cracking on with my number crunching into Excel ... and I'm getting there - slowly but surely.

I've found quite a few leaks in the business recently thanks to L's help. We've been trying to identify where I am hemorrhaging money from, and found quite a few ... the problem is that I need better cash flow to plug up the gaps ... but one of my problems IS cash flow and the fact that WorldPay take 4 weeks to pay me my customer credit card payments into my bank! I need to get that to weekly ... but I can't do that until I have the cash flow to get the site back online and the set up fee for the new payment processor GRRRRRR because meanwhile I am stuck in cash flow hell with no website!!

Can't get an egg without a chicken .... and the only way to get a chicken is from an egg! Sucks sometimes eh!

At any rate - I'm in a focussed and positive mood. I have a lil event this evening locally in Ashington, then 2 days Saturday & Sunday in Clymping so we're getting there!

Lovin' Monday!

Wow, what a fab day I've had! I was up early to go to the gym as hub was working from home, so to start the day off with a boost was a good start!

The website is now back in my name and registered with my new host - I need to come up with the funds for the hosting to get it officially back online ... but it's all going according to plan so far!

I did some number crunching today with L and worked out that I can save around £4,500 a year purely by buying my wax in larger quantities, changing payment processors and questioning some of my maintenance bills. That's crazy. Scary crazy!!!

Also ... finally the website re-design is coming together. I'm really happy with how it's working out and it'll mean that by the time the site is back online, there will be a whole terrific new look for it!!!

Yeah we love weekends like this!

We being "me" anyway! Yesterday was a really good day, then today I got as much as I'd wanted to achieve accomplished at work, then extra bits too! It's always good when that happens!! I've also been doing a lot of brainstorming about the future of the business and where I want to go with it... and dreaming up concepts and designs.

It's good to be all floaty every now and again, but from tomorrow it's back to proper number crunching and serious figure working. I need to get this part finished before I can even think about going any further!

The website re-design isn't going too well. I looked at it today - realised it was completely shite and have started a fresh version! I'm too much of a perfectionist!!

Well, anyway, it's 10.40pm and this perfectionist is heading to bed ... an early night for once!

What a week and it's not even Friday yet!!

I cancelled everything for this morning so that I could be in first thing to fax the paperwork to Nominet... R from the other unit said I could borrow his fax and we double checked that it had worked. T also came in for a couple of hours and we sat down and packaged up a batch of wedding favour orders... a monotonous job so it's good to have someone to chat to while you do it!

Anyway, just before leaving work this afternoon I called Nominet to check that they had received the fax okay with all the domain transfer details and they hadn't had the fax! Grrrr!! R was out at the time so I've now got to leave it until tomorrow!

*sigh*

It has absolutely knackered me out as well. This whole week has been totally exhausting - I actually nodded off on the sofa earlier and was late picking Megan up from Brownies! I'm gonna get me a nice early night tonight and SLEEEEEEEEEEEP!!

I can't wait for things to finally settle down so I can chill out and sit here with a grin on my face again!!